Minding Your Speech

Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.


This quote has officially kicked my rear. The last few drafts for this have been terrible. I type, delete, retype and still don't like it. This is hard because sometimes with all the opinions out there, sometimes it is better to just be quite. At other times an opinion is needed to bring another option, information, or theory to the table. It is hard to watch people go down a path that is destructive and not say something. At other times, I think people are just mean that do silently watch.  They stand back, talk amongst themselves and say, "Yep. I told you so. I knew it would end badly. You should have done it this way."  I have had this both happen to me and watch other people treat others this way. Watching someone walk toward destruction or toward something that with a little help they might not have done with more information. Of course this is especially hard for me because I'm an educator of sorts.
Example:
With my patients, I'd be a terrible therapist if I stood back and applied the above. "Yep. Their doing that exercise wrong. That looks terrible. Too bad." or "Yep they are lifting that box horribly and will rupture a disc eventually. That's going to hurt!"  I can't stand by and watch that. I have to step up and offer helpful hints and corrections to what I see. Of course at that point, it is up to the person what they do with it, but at least I offered advice. 9 times out of 10 people are grateful and apply the advice. They have no intention to "rupture a disc" or do the "exercise" wrong or in other cases "go down that path" but until you share will they ever really know BEFORE they are shown the difference.  Again this is the Knowing when to speak your mind.

When to mind your speech is tricky because the above often clouds and makes us great justifiers of sharing our opinion without a second thought. "Well at least I told them." "At least, I did the right thing with the information I've been trusted with."   "That was just stupid of you. I never would have done it that way."  That's not helpful, that's flat hurtful and full of bad attitude. If I ever pause to question, should I really say that, my instinct is usually right. Number one rule is above all else, even though you might be opinionated or right or even know from experience, will it build another up? Is your delivery effective or will your delivery be destructive?  If the opinion and speech is too flavored with old bitter experience or a personal soap box, then your answer is clear. Be helpful in building others up, or mind your speech.  When you don't, be helpful (not hurtful) and end with encouragement.