Ephesians 3:20
Now to Him who is able to do more than we could ask or imagine according to the power that is at work in us.
Overwhelmed by grace. Overwhelmed by God's timing and perfection. Overwhelmed that despite the chaos and confusion that leaves us in turmoil at times, He prevails. Preparing for my test has been all of that. Praying that some amount of sanity comes from all the days, nights, weekends spent studying instead of time with my husband and sweet kids. The closer I get to this the more I feel the attack. Satan is hard at work. I know that I am on the right path because the closer I get the more the devil seems to have a hay day. It just makes me press in harder, knowing that if I wasn't on the right path he would not be messing with me. Trying so hard to knock me off the path and keep me down. I got news for him. He picked the wrong person. Jesus already has won; He has overcome the world and anything we will face. Hard to remember at times yes. Hard to always feel that the Lord is right there sometimes. But we know that He is. It is HIS character, His being. He is unalterable, unchangable, unconditional. I know that again and I just want to give HIM all the credit. He gets the glory and honor because it is all for HIS purpose.
I had my thyroid out yesterday for those that have put bits and pieces together on facebook. Complete. I had been back and forth with the decision based on my certification test in August. I had decided to wait and scheduled for the week after Steamboat. After I called to move it last Wed, I was not at peace and felt like I had justified my way out of it. I kept praying, "God don't let me mess this up. If this is wrong, put someone or something in my path and reroute me." Thursday at work our speech therapist stopped me and asked if I was ready for Monday (the original surgery date). I sheepishly realized he was the first one I talked to about my symptoms and now the last to tell that I had moved the date. Immediately, he expressed concern. The way he worded the rest of the conversation was my answered prayer. Plain and simple. I talked to another co-worker and she confirmed again...I know this test is so important but so is your health. Shame on me for not placing enough value on my health. It is precious. I called the doctor back and they said Monday would still work.
So yesterday, I faced my fear of being completely under anesthesia and had a total thyroidectomy. So thankful that I did. The biopsy showed thyroid cancer. It appears that the doctor was able to remove it all but I will do the radioactive iodine treatment in 2 months. Praise the Lord for perfect timing and provision. Praise the Lord that He watches over our every move and takes away our peace when we are not moving according to HIM. I am overwhelmed that He loves me so much. But why does that overwhelm me? HE HAS NEVER SHOWED ME ANYTHING BUT THAT!! He always surpasses my prayers and expectations and does more than I could ask or imagine!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Do Not Fear
Deuteronomy 31:8
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Again in Isaiah 41:10
Again in Joshua 1:9
and again, and again , and again. I think that God was serious.
So I think with all the reminders I can rest easy and calm down. My head is spinning right now. I had a less than perfect test come back this week and I sit now praying over a surgery. Not fun to anticipate. Not fun when (like a c-section) you can see them coming from a long way off. You can mentally prepare and not be hit blind-sided. But not this time. I should be happy that it is not worse, but I can't help but be selfish and say "Why at all?" Why now in the middle of studying and testing for one of my greatest challenges would this come? It is a bit frustrating and nerve racking to say the least. A distraction, a nagging in the very back of my mind where I have tried hard to bury it. But the decision is still there, waiting to be prayed over, thought over, and ultimately decided on. It is like a bad lump in your throat making it hard to swallow, that just won't go away. Lord, I'm trusting you that we found whatever this is early and you'll squash it in its tracks. You HAVE already gone ahead of me. Take a big girl deep breath and say it again. DO NOT FEAR or BE DISMAYED! Pray for us this week. I thank you for all of them in advance.
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Again in Isaiah 41:10
Again in Joshua 1:9
and again, and again , and again. I think that God was serious.
So I think with all the reminders I can rest easy and calm down. My head is spinning right now. I had a less than perfect test come back this week and I sit now praying over a surgery. Not fun to anticipate. Not fun when (like a c-section) you can see them coming from a long way off. You can mentally prepare and not be hit blind-sided. But not this time. I should be happy that it is not worse, but I can't help but be selfish and say "Why at all?" Why now in the middle of studying and testing for one of my greatest challenges would this come? It is a bit frustrating and nerve racking to say the least. A distraction, a nagging in the very back of my mind where I have tried hard to bury it. But the decision is still there, waiting to be prayed over, thought over, and ultimately decided on. It is like a bad lump in your throat making it hard to swallow, that just won't go away. Lord, I'm trusting you that we found whatever this is early and you'll squash it in its tracks. You HAVE already gone ahead of me. Take a big girl deep breath and say it again. DO NOT FEAR or BE DISMAYED! Pray for us this week. I thank you for all of them in advance.
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