Isolation

Webster's defines isolation as the act of being isolated. Thanks. Like words are aloneness or solitude and another list of choices. So I clicked on aloneness: exclusive of anyone or anything. Being in total solitude. Awesome. I feel even better after those definitions. I have thought this week more about next week so mentally I will be prepared, (mainly because I will be away from my family, my kids). :(   I have such a tendency to let life sneak up on me that sometimes I do not mentally think through some things....like this upcoming experience. It will be on me before I know it.  It will be like nothing I have ever had to do before. There have been days when we can say we have avoided people, been sick, chosen to stay in to veg-out, taken advantage of a rainy day, or you name it. Some of us may have taken time with God several days on end to dedicate or pray through hard times, decisions, circumstances, etc. I think my point of all of this is that all of those options were a choice.  I feel like this upcoming treatment is not an option...to a point. Don't take it as complaining just yet, bear with me.
There comes a time such as this that a person has to really look into themselves. To find what they are made of through and through. We know what it means to make the most of EVERY circumstance....most of the time. For this momma I dread the 10-14 days that I cannot be around my kids. My heart breaks. The most I have done was during Steamboat IPA certification for 7 days and that was so hard. The only thing I can come up with is, God still lead me to this and will lead me through it. The bits of cancer did not have to be there. I asked and believed. They were and they are out. Like others that have had this type and gone through the treatment, it is just follow up. Precautionary. Not mandantory like I see patients have to do everyday. Yes, even God knows it could have been a different type with a much worse treatment to follow. I praise Him for that so again I AM NOT COMPLAINING.
My choice is my attitude. I will approach these days seeking Him. I cannot be around others --to a degree---seclusion is best for my kids though---and like it says "exclusive of anyone or anything." Funny. We who know Jesus and have asked Him into our hearts are never alone. Never. And you can't take that away. I'm told I can't take my cell with me---maybe an old one--but will have to throw that away, so there goes the computer and the iPod too. So. God has planted me right in the middle of a treatment so specific that I can take nothing with me except the one thing they can't touch or take. HIMSELF. Wow, I really tear up at that. That is some kinda of AWESOME power at work when He strips all the world and all its distractions and blessings and leaves you nothing, but exclusively HIMSELF.
Of course, I'm scared. I'm nervous about being isolated because as I have said in humor before, "I don't have a problem with myself, but I don't know anyone who likes themselves THAT much to be ALONE for 14 days." LOL....for only God and I to hear. Pray for my family-Jody, mom, the kids as they don't have the help, the cooking, etc. So one thing I ask that you pray for me is that I am wide open to hear, to listen, to read (after hospital release), to write, to be still and HEAR HIM. There's no way I am walking away from this time and not be productive for you. No way my family will not be covered while I am away. No way that I am going to walk away without a word. Even if I have to wrestle and never let go and wrestle some more. I have ears to hear and a heart that is hungry because I believe He lead me to this time. There is just no other explanation. I am overwhelmed. Let me use this time wisely for what you want Lord. My heart does ache; I will miss my family, but I'm thirsty for YOU!