Webster's defines isolation as the act of being isolated. Thanks. Like words are aloneness or solitude and another list of choices. So I clicked on aloneness: exclusive of anyone or anything. Being in total solitude. Awesome. I feel even better after those definitions. I have thought this week more about next week so mentally I will be prepared, (mainly because I will be away from my family, my kids). :( I have such a tendency to let life sneak up on me that sometimes I do not mentally think through some things....like this upcoming experience. It will be on me before I know it. It will be like nothing I have ever had to do before. There have been days when we can say we have avoided people, been sick, chosen to stay in to veg-out, taken advantage of a rainy day, or you name it. Some of us may have taken time with God several days on end to dedicate or pray through hard times, decisions, circumstances, etc. I think my point of all of this is that all of those options were a choice. I feel like this upcoming treatment is not an option...to a point. Don't take it as complaining just yet, bear with me.
There comes a time such as this that a person has to really look into themselves. To find what they are made of through and through. We know what it means to make the most of EVERY circumstance....most of the time. For this momma I dread the 10-14 days that I cannot be around my kids. My heart breaks. The most I have done was during Steamboat IPA certification for 7 days and that was so hard. The only thing I can come up with is, God still lead me to this and will lead me through it. The bits of cancer did not have to be there. I asked and believed. They were and they are out. Like others that have had this type and gone through the treatment, it is just follow up. Precautionary. Not mandantory like I see patients have to do everyday. Yes, even God knows it could have been a different type with a much worse treatment to follow. I praise Him for that so again I AM NOT COMPLAINING.
My choice is my attitude. I will approach these days seeking Him. I cannot be around others --to a degree---seclusion is best for my kids though---and like it says "exclusive of anyone or anything." Funny. We who know Jesus and have asked Him into our hearts are never alone. Never. And you can't take that away. I'm told I can't take my cell with me---maybe an old one--but will have to throw that away, so there goes the computer and the iPod too. So. God has planted me right in the middle of a treatment so specific that I can take nothing with me except the one thing they can't touch or take. HIMSELF. Wow, I really tear up at that. That is some kinda of AWESOME power at work when He strips all the world and all its distractions and blessings and leaves you nothing, but exclusively HIMSELF.
Of course, I'm scared. I'm nervous about being isolated because as I have said in humor before, "I don't have a problem with myself, but I don't know anyone who likes themselves THAT much to be ALONE for 14 days." LOL....for only God and I to hear. Pray for my family-Jody, mom, the kids as they don't have the help, the cooking, etc. So one thing I ask that you pray for me is that I am wide open to hear, to listen, to read (after hospital release), to write, to be still and HEAR HIM. There's no way I am walking away from this time and not be productive for you. No way my family will not be covered while I am away. No way that I am going to walk away without a word. Even if I have to wrestle and never let go and wrestle some more. I have ears to hear and a heart that is hungry because I believe He lead me to this time. There is just no other explanation. I am overwhelmed. Let me use this time wisely for what you want Lord. My heart does ache; I will miss my family, but I'm thirsty for YOU!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
No Flavor? No Problem!
The Low-Iodine Diet
No soy, no dairy, no egg yolks, no breads (with conditioner so home-made is the key!), no butter-tried to find vegan without luck and miss this the most), no food with salt listed in the ingredients, no Red dye #3, no chocolate. Meats must be fresh because most meats are cured--yes salt my friends, so vegan grown/feed and no salt on the list---so far Walmart carries a Harvestland brand that works. Beef, pork, chicken if you can find them fresh.
So far I have baked my own bread & rolls to have toast (without butter, sadness but oh how thankful I am for JELLY!), roasted my own salted batch & a cinammon/sugar almond batch, found some yummy grapefruit candy (you can have dye free gum drops!), made Ratatouille from scratch, orzo pasta, my own homemade tomato sauce from scratch, Balsamic vinegar turkey stir-fry, lemon-herb turkey and veggies, fresh smoothies, apple/cantalope bake for dessert, chewy oatmeal cookies, and found coconut milk okay so I can still enjoy fresh BREWED-not instant- coffee! Thank you thyroid cancer association for the Thy CA cookbook (download online for free) because those recipes have been lifesavers!! The scene in my kitchen this week has been hilarious with the organic, pioneer spread where I start everything from scratch and present a mini feast every night. It reminds me of an all time favorite movie line (6 days, 7 nights), "Aren't you one of those guys? You know. The kind that can take a swiss army knife and a toothpick and they build you a shopping mall." Yes I have taken basics and feel that I have whipped food masterpieces this week. I really have enjoyed trying new things.
It has been an adventure in reading labels and getting dirty looks for reading those labels. It took me 1 hour in Walmart to read labels on meats, pastas-no egg yolks!, and find the other various things that I can have. Iodine you are lurking everywhere and I had NO idea! You make me miss my dairy more than you will ever know but thank you, thank you for not being in fresh fruits and veggies! Lastly thank you for staying far away from sugar. Without a little sugar sprinkle, this week would have been traumatic. :) The trip to Walmart was so a bonus for Reece to add spunk and rare back only to split her head open on your shelf. Added trip to the ER later plus 1 staple to boot and my trip would have just been normal. I run from normal. In fact I am allergic to it! Allergic to it because through all this healthy eating I am either having withdrawl from something OR I am allergic to something because my neck and arms are covered with a lovely rash. Thank you for never ever letting me forget the song "This is the Stuff" this week! I love a good laugh and that is all I have had this week! It has been so nuts from the shopping, diet, and in betweens that I have just stopped to throw my head back and laugh out loud. Life is just flat funny sometimes----or rather MOST of the time! Have a wonderful day and may God Bless you through your "stuff" that drives you crazy because He is in all that too!
No soy, no dairy, no egg yolks, no breads (with conditioner so home-made is the key!), no butter-tried to find vegan without luck and miss this the most), no food with salt listed in the ingredients, no Red dye #3, no chocolate. Meats must be fresh because most meats are cured--yes salt my friends, so vegan grown/feed and no salt on the list---so far Walmart carries a Harvestland brand that works. Beef, pork, chicken if you can find them fresh.
So far I have baked my own bread & rolls to have toast (without butter, sadness but oh how thankful I am for JELLY!), roasted my own salted batch & a cinammon/sugar almond batch, found some yummy grapefruit candy (you can have dye free gum drops!), made Ratatouille from scratch, orzo pasta, my own homemade tomato sauce from scratch, Balsamic vinegar turkey stir-fry, lemon-herb turkey and veggies, fresh smoothies, apple/cantalope bake for dessert, chewy oatmeal cookies, and found coconut milk okay so I can still enjoy fresh BREWED-not instant- coffee! Thank you thyroid cancer association for the Thy CA cookbook (download online for free) because those recipes have been lifesavers!! The scene in my kitchen this week has been hilarious with the organic, pioneer spread where I start everything from scratch and present a mini feast every night. It reminds me of an all time favorite movie line (6 days, 7 nights), "Aren't you one of those guys? You know. The kind that can take a swiss army knife and a toothpick and they build you a shopping mall." Yes I have taken basics and feel that I have whipped food masterpieces this week. I really have enjoyed trying new things.
It has been an adventure in reading labels and getting dirty looks for reading those labels. It took me 1 hour in Walmart to read labels on meats, pastas-no egg yolks!, and find the other various things that I can have. Iodine you are lurking everywhere and I had NO idea! You make me miss my dairy more than you will ever know but thank you, thank you for not being in fresh fruits and veggies! Lastly thank you for staying far away from sugar. Without a little sugar sprinkle, this week would have been traumatic. :) The trip to Walmart was so a bonus for Reece to add spunk and rare back only to split her head open on your shelf. Added trip to the ER later plus 1 staple to boot and my trip would have just been normal. I run from normal. In fact I am allergic to it! Allergic to it because through all this healthy eating I am either having withdrawl from something OR I am allergic to something because my neck and arms are covered with a lovely rash. Thank you for never ever letting me forget the song "This is the Stuff" this week! I love a good laugh and that is all I have had this week! It has been so nuts from the shopping, diet, and in betweens that I have just stopped to throw my head back and laugh out loud. Life is just flat funny sometimes----or rather MOST of the time! Have a wonderful day and may God Bless you through your "stuff" that drives you crazy because He is in all that too!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Remembering Where You Were 9/11
Be courageous! With the movie shortly coming out and the song on the radio, this phrase has be in the forefront of my mind often. The news has flashed picture after picture, recalling that days horrible events. The destruction, the rubble, the chaos. THE COURAGE. I was blessed by a friend to remember how many searched for survivors in that rubble. He blessed me this week so much by letting Jody and I meet his Emergency Certified Dog who would respond to events like 9/11 and other disasters. He recalled stories of a search and rescue team who responded at the Pentagon and how the emotion surrounding that day is just NEVER captured or done justice in any picture. I am so encouraged by his example to pursue courage and excellence. I pray for him often that NO OTHER EVENT of that magnitude will arise so that he will not have to respond. This week the news reminded us of the courage that the men and women showed on United flight 93. LET'S ROLL! In that moment, they knew that that was it. They knew they would never survive and they would die to thwart the plans. But succeed they did. And oh how they did. What a legacy their families are so proud of!
Of course we all mourn the losses again and the wounds are reopened as we approach Sunday. We look back and remember where we were that day, what we were doing, how we felt, how we reacted, and instantly gained perspective on what was truly important in this life. For me, I was looking back over a biology test in Dr. Reinhart's class. He casually walked in and said, "Oh my gosh. A plane hit the tower." and turned on the news to a truly horrific scene. We were all left stunned staring at the screen of smoke on our soil. He left the TV on and said, "well when you're done with your test I guess you can go back to your dorm. We won't have class after this. I'm sure that some of you want to call your families."
Finish the test!??! Are you serious? Well for me (thank goodness) I was done and only looking back over it. I would have probably just turned it in otherwise. I quickly laid my test down but felt sorry for others that were not done and had to try to refocus their thoughts to finish. I walked back to Owen to the lobby where a group had already begun to gather. Girls scared for dads due to work environments, praying for victims and families, and tears. Fear and uncertainty. That night Wayland had a great prayer service in Harral. What power to gather with a room full of believers and bombard the devil. To throw firey prayer darts back in a way only God himself knows the power of. To collectively ponce, pray up, and prepare for the following days ahead. Realizing sadly, we would never grow up in the world we had once known. No one would.
The time any event happens we remember. We look back forcing ourselves to remember those and honor their lives. Remembering the horror of that day and stirring the old emotions that surround 9/11, I remember several things distinctly. Of course there is a melting pot of fear and all its cousins. But as I go through the list, they too begin to fade. I remember the sadness knowing that I am now--10 yrs later-- raising 2 kids in times when I have a horrific event to recall, like some recall JFK or the OK bombing. You know where you were and can recall exactly how you felt. I am proud to look back on that day and recall I was blessed enough to be at WAYLAND and among Godly people. I am blessed that though fear penetrated deep that day, courage rose. Even in the midst of the rubble, a cross stood (thanks Greg for posting that pic!). The victory of Jesus was remembered and people cried out to the LORD.
We were reminded of 2 Chronicles 7:14,
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
That night and the days after we did something powerful with that and simply PRAYED. Do not forget the power behind prayers. I never thought from that day until now that I would have so many blessings to count 10 years later. Never thought that the world would function as it has. God is truly awesome. Remember HIM this 9/11. He is the giver of LIFE and gives us our daily bread. His spirit pours like the fountain where the buildings once stood. Continuously!
You are so good to me. You heal my broken heart. You are my Father in heaven. You are beautiful my sweet sweet song. You are beautiful my sweet sweet song, I will sing again. I will sing again.
Of course we all mourn the losses again and the wounds are reopened as we approach Sunday. We look back and remember where we were that day, what we were doing, how we felt, how we reacted, and instantly gained perspective on what was truly important in this life. For me, I was looking back over a biology test in Dr. Reinhart's class. He casually walked in and said, "Oh my gosh. A plane hit the tower." and turned on the news to a truly horrific scene. We were all left stunned staring at the screen of smoke on our soil. He left the TV on and said, "well when you're done with your test I guess you can go back to your dorm. We won't have class after this. I'm sure that some of you want to call your families."
Finish the test!??! Are you serious? Well for me (thank goodness) I was done and only looking back over it. I would have probably just turned it in otherwise. I quickly laid my test down but felt sorry for others that were not done and had to try to refocus their thoughts to finish. I walked back to Owen to the lobby where a group had already begun to gather. Girls scared for dads due to work environments, praying for victims and families, and tears. Fear and uncertainty. That night Wayland had a great prayer service in Harral. What power to gather with a room full of believers and bombard the devil. To throw firey prayer darts back in a way only God himself knows the power of. To collectively ponce, pray up, and prepare for the following days ahead. Realizing sadly, we would never grow up in the world we had once known. No one would.
The time any event happens we remember. We look back forcing ourselves to remember those and honor their lives. Remembering the horror of that day and stirring the old emotions that surround 9/11, I remember several things distinctly. Of course there is a melting pot of fear and all its cousins. But as I go through the list, they too begin to fade. I remember the sadness knowing that I am now--10 yrs later-- raising 2 kids in times when I have a horrific event to recall, like some recall JFK or the OK bombing. You know where you were and can recall exactly how you felt. I am proud to look back on that day and recall I was blessed enough to be at WAYLAND and among Godly people. I am blessed that though fear penetrated deep that day, courage rose. Even in the midst of the rubble, a cross stood (thanks Greg for posting that pic!). The victory of Jesus was remembered and people cried out to the LORD.
We were reminded of 2 Chronicles 7:14,
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
That night and the days after we did something powerful with that and simply PRAYED. Do not forget the power behind prayers. I never thought from that day until now that I would have so many blessings to count 10 years later. Never thought that the world would function as it has. God is truly awesome. Remember HIM this 9/11. He is the giver of LIFE and gives us our daily bread. His spirit pours like the fountain where the buildings once stood. Continuously!
You are so good to me. You heal my broken heart. You are my Father in heaven. You are beautiful my sweet sweet song. You are beautiful my sweet sweet song, I will sing again. I will sing again.
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