Minding Your Speech

Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.


This quote has officially kicked my rear. The last few drafts for this have been terrible. I type, delete, retype and still don't like it. This is hard because sometimes with all the opinions out there, sometimes it is better to just be quite. At other times an opinion is needed to bring another option, information, or theory to the table. It is hard to watch people go down a path that is destructive and not say something. At other times, I think people are just mean that do silently watch.  They stand back, talk amongst themselves and say, "Yep. I told you so. I knew it would end badly. You should have done it this way."  I have had this both happen to me and watch other people treat others this way. Watching someone walk toward destruction or toward something that with a little help they might not have done with more information. Of course this is especially hard for me because I'm an educator of sorts.
Example:
With my patients, I'd be a terrible therapist if I stood back and applied the above. "Yep. Their doing that exercise wrong. That looks terrible. Too bad." or "Yep they are lifting that box horribly and will rupture a disc eventually. That's going to hurt!"  I can't stand by and watch that. I have to step up and offer helpful hints and corrections to what I see. Of course at that point, it is up to the person what they do with it, but at least I offered advice. 9 times out of 10 people are grateful and apply the advice. They have no intention to "rupture a disc" or do the "exercise" wrong or in other cases "go down that path" but until you share will they ever really know BEFORE they are shown the difference.  Again this is the Knowing when to speak your mind.

When to mind your speech is tricky because the above often clouds and makes us great justifiers of sharing our opinion without a second thought. "Well at least I told them." "At least, I did the right thing with the information I've been trusted with."   "That was just stupid of you. I never would have done it that way."  That's not helpful, that's flat hurtful and full of bad attitude. If I ever pause to question, should I really say that, my instinct is usually right. Number one rule is above all else, even though you might be opinionated or right or even know from experience, will it build another up? Is your delivery effective or will your delivery be destructive?  If the opinion and speech is too flavored with old bitter experience or a personal soap box, then your answer is clear. Be helpful in building others up, or mind your speech.  When you don't, be helpful (not hurtful) and end with encouragement.

Being Silent

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.  Martin Luther King

I read this quote a few weeks ago and circled it. It continues to weigh on my heart so I know that I must share this. Among the daily hussle and bussle, we all are faced with things that we are passionate about. Things that we pour our heart and life into. For a while now it completely burdens my heart when I hear things like, "just do the job", why do you take it  home? or "just relax, no one really does it that way." As I continue to study for my certification, I hear "you are still a therapist when it's all done? What's the big deal? It won't increase your pay so why are you working so hard for it?"
Clearly this MATTERS to me. I cannot be silent about this when I am confronted with comments like this. I believe very strongly, first, that God brought me to this.  There are easier paths out there, no doubt. I was not put here to simply walk down the easy path or be lazy. Through a very special lady who taught me piano, I have been shown that hard work, dedication, and excellence are a choice. But first and foremost, I also believe that God demands our very best. He DESERVES it. Not our leftovers, but our firstfruits. No only in tithe, but what we are good at.  Aren't we good at it because HE gave us the ability? The talent? The knowledge?
So for the above questions I have been presented lately I guess I'm saying that I continue to press on, but no longer be too quite, too flexible, or too tolerant. A very wise youth director once told me, If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. How true that is! Another popular saying I love but I know can be taken to the extreme: Blessed are the flexible, for they do not get bent out of shape. Well I love that...but have no intention to represent Gumby and not know which way is up.  (Clay maybe but no one is casting the mold except the Lord.)

So this week the challenge stands: DO NOT be silent about the things that matter.

Pay attention: a crude joke that breaks a heart and wounds a spirit, a kind word left unspoken that someone so desperately needs to hear, time with a friend or spouse that needs to be set aside, a book that a child wants read just one more time or like me pouring over books so that I can pour out over my patients and the people in my life. He places the passion in us to simply be an avenue to build relationships and share HIS great name! Be true to who He has made you and the people and things in your life that matter.

Things Hoped For

We all hope for things. Things unseen. Things we remember wanting as a little kid and waiting years for. A prince. A wedding. A degree or career we loved. A house. That huge, enormous closet that you could park a car in. Whatever it was if you waited....it usually ended up being better than you imagined! Left you speechless. My experiences that literally took my breath away were (just to name a FEW): wayland revivals, Jody holding my hand for the first time, camps, God's call for me in Hebrews 12:12 (ask and you shall receive), Jody's wreck, PT school interview & acceptance, love of close friends, proposal, wedding, positive pregnancy test(s), and the birth of my 2 beautiful children. There are just moments that cannot be summarized or recaptured. We live in them and remember them. I lay in bed with my eyes shut trying to reimagine exactly how they happened. How I felt. What I saw; what smells helped intensify the atmosphere; the sounds that were God-sent. I have a beautiful moment to add to this list now. Someone I love very very much. We all have our own moments but we know that we have connected with OTHERS when their moments become our own. When others JOY brings happiness and tears to our eyes. When we break ourselves over someone else's wants and desires, just like they were our own. I guess that's easy for me because I am an only child so when I have a friend I've known forever and been through thick and thin with, it is easy to feel like family. My new moment: my very best friend telling me that she is expecting and today that it is a BOY! You know who you are and I love still sharing THESE MOMENTS with you.

Challenges

Once in a while God prompts you to do something that you often feel is beyond yourself. Way beyond yourself. I think that we can all look back and recall these instances. This is one of them. I don't have anything profound to say, but my heart is full of excitement for what He's doing.  I've noticed that the older I get God can break me over something well written...something beautiful written, played, or acted. Not that I'll be good at this, but I hope that at least it offers and small window into an open heart. It may be raw but that is often what we fail to be is transparent. We tend to think as we get older that we have to hold it together. Holding people at an arm's length so they don't see that "holding it together" is what we are actually bad at. We don't let people close anymore like we did in high school or college. Jody and I are blessed to work with youth. They constantly remind me what Jesus says to ALL of us. Not just the children. Let the children come.  This DNOW weekend was just another reminder. As an adult, we set the example by leading but so often we are the ones who are the mess. God is the only reason we hold anything together.  We never truly let people get to know us and when we do we are scared of what they will think of us. I'm tired of holding an arm extended saying...that's close enough...you're in my personal space. Jesus died in our personal place. He made us to be relational beings. This is just another opportunity I pray he uses to develop relationships and let others see that God is living and active in all of our lives.  This is our story that He's given us and we are truly blessed!
Jody, Reece (3), Cale (8mo), and I live in a small Tx town.  Jody has been a teacher and coach the last 6 yrs and I am a physical therapist. Between work, Jody's coaching schedule and the kids we stay very busy. This year God has also lead me to challenge myself where I am professionally. I am studying for my manual therapy certification (IPA!! Woot! Woot!) and find myself daily exhausted between trying to be  PT, wife, friend, mother, and student. The days are long, the hours are late, but the information is GOOD. Just like the Lord because He provides His strength when I am too tired to function. I remember feeling this tired at Wayland, then PT school but it does bring a whole other challenge with a family. A beautiful challenge that when I am done, I will know on another level that "where God guides, HE PROVIDES." Provides the way to do this, when it seems impossible. When I am bent over books instead of our sweet babies. When I shortcut a meal with Stouffer's instead of my homemade feast that I want to cook.  When I wonder how did that small pile of clothes become a mountain. Just like this present adventure, I know that God is GOOD and He will lead me in His truth.  He will provide and fuel me as He always does.