Today has been interesting. I have had a few rough weeks. Not anything in particular, but everything in general. The straw that literally and figuratively breaks the camel's back has been put to the test. That's usually how it works. Just one more thing, one more activity, one more trip, commitment, change, or alteration. Whatever circumstance we may be facing may be our choice or not. But so much of mine has piled and piled lately because I have not set boundaries. As I stare at the "Simplify" sign hanging in the kitchen, I wonder when did I become someone who never says no. Well technically I've usually said NO, which translate to "Let me think" or "I'll consider it after I've had time to weigh it out" but NEVER have I just said Yes. That statement comes as no surprise for those of you who know me.
Recently as I said, I've found that bit by bit I've become overwhelmed. Not by choice. More like by force and no one else wants to do it. So settling down tonight writing this is very revealing of the hats I'm taking off before I go to sleep. Chauffeur, chef, mom, daughter, wife, therapist, housekeeper, medication organizer, life-long student, friend, scheduler, sorter, bag finder, computer WIJ (where is Jody?!), organizer ........ The last one seems to get me. Really I didn't sign up for some of what I find on my plate?! And frankly I should not be putting up with some of the rudeness I find myself in the middle of. Like a magnet for nice it flocks to me and now I want to repel the rudeness that I must look like I will tolerate. It is first of all unnecessary. Second, would anyone want to be on the receiving end? Of course most people do not think of their sting at the end of their eloquently witty sentence that burns with much sarcasm, but seriously reconsider your words.
Here's my word again. Be INTENTIONAL. For without intention, much can get smeared into assumption due to lack of caring or not listening. Be Intentional about your actions. And yes, about what you tolerate. Tolerance is interesting. I've tired to never be so tolerant personally that I don't know what I stand for. Tolerance is never about setting healthy boundaries that are RUDE but gently and protectively say, "No you don't have access to that." Tolerance in a sense is love but it is NOT approval. Tolerance interval, a type of statistical probability. This was very interesting to google tolerance.
Statistical Probability came up in the long list. Interesting indeed. So for most of my life I have set personal limits, tolerance if you well. I've tired to not be anything but Christ like but I know that I've fallen so short. Thankfully God works through it anyway. Tolerance Interval is very interesting despite its statistical relevance because that by itself speaks to me. My tolerance interval needs to change before my statistical probability catches up with me. Only Christ can give us the tolerance and love we need day to day to step away from being overwhelmed and moments from being ready to crack. It does all become too much at times. We find ourselves gasping for breath, crying out "That's really enough. I can't take anymore."
Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.
Psalm 69:20
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:7-9
Jars of Clay Indeed. Only by the POWER of the Lord!
