I found myself sad today as a chapter came to a close. I hate goodbyes and having to step back and evaluate....did I really do a good job and did I give it all I had. I'm exhausted and can say that for me at this new energy level that runs out far before I want to stop, that yes I think I did. Could I have given more? A resounding yes, but I always tried to give my best. I gave each patient all I knew, which sometimes still falls so short. I tried to give my best everyday but again I feel that each patient teaches me far more than I give them. I know that for thoseI help, it is just that feeling you are left with when someone teaches you something great...about them....about yourself.....about life.....and about what walking with the Lord looks life off paper. It leaves you grateful, thankful, and sometimes yes....in tears. I felt that so many times especially today with my patients that were sweet enough to say kind words and a simple heartfelt thank you. It overwhelms me that people still take the time to say that and slow down enough to remember not to forgot after the opportunity is gone. We've all done it, me included. "I'm so glad I met you. I'm so glad our paths crossed.".....but why didn't I say that to their face, we think to ourselves.
So my mustering strength is not physical, but mental and emotional. I'm exhausted. I had so many grateful moments today that left me in awe of the people that were nice enough to stop and just share their thoughts and some their heart. These are the people that give me strength to keep on pressing when others are probably wanting to say to me, "don't you think that's enough. what else now?" It is not what else now, but WHO else now. Who else now can I help if I push a little harder a little longer, more into what I don't know.....to get to know for someone else who needs the help (PT). Yes I will admit I am an info addict because I want to know all I can so I can be more helpful. It is a bit of a bad thing at times, but when you are sitting before someone who needs the help and has not found it other places, that is when it pays off. To be able to offer a service or sometimes just a listening ear, these are the moments that I was made for. Mustering strength is never up to us. All we must do is ask a capable Savior to fill us, make us, mold us, and then pour us out.
Can you tell I love what I do??!!
1 Corinthians 8:1-3
Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that "all of us possess knowledge." This knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.
