My Gift

Wow! What a birthday! Facebook was so humbling to scroll through all the posts. I will say again. I am the lucky one. To know so many amazing people. Thank you for a simple thing. Thank you for the messages. You have NO IDEA what that meant to me today. I sat overwhelmed in my chair tonight looking over everyones kind words and was just blown away that the Lord has blessed me so much. With family and friends who are just incredible. People who love the Lord with all their heart, mind, and life. It was so humbling to have so many people text me or send me a message from all across the world. From back home, from school, from Seminole. Do I really get to live THIS life?! This is truly crazy. I am such a blessed southern girl. I am pinching myself right now because today I just felt loved. That meant so much because I think for the first time since the move I gave myself permission to miss home. And I stopped (really stopped) to do just that. To miss my friends (I'd love to sit with so many of you and talk). My family (miss you bunches). My pets. My church (miss you dearly). Through all the thoughtfulness today know that I was truly reached. The Lord used that as my gift. To look back and love the life I've been blessed with. And absolutely be blown away with how fabulously the Lord weaves our lives together with who we meet and get to do life WITH. That was the best gift.


I sat in all this reflection to read Psalm 139. OH MY WORD! This is a read every birthday for a reason. It is so incredible to be so loved by God. To be so planned for. To be thought of before anyone else knew me. There are many things that I want to do. There is so much left to learn. So many people to reach out to. There are few things in this world that have meaning without the precious love of Jesus. There are few things that I can do from here that would mean more than what He has given me. Oh How he loves me, oh. How he loves me, oh. My heart sings because He knit me together. Quirky, goofy, driven, passionate, fun-loving. Forgetful, comfortable in my skin even if you're not ok with me. Me. Sometimes it is nice to give ourselves permission to just bask in that kind of love over us. And I did tonight. After coming home from the game, Jody and the kids crashed and no movie night happened as planned. Mom made her way to bed after talking with me. And there I was. By myself. No TV show, movie, or book could satisfy. God met me in my chair, my room and poured over me. Showed me things about myself in these years I've been alive and reminded me that I am loved. As completely as I will ever be loved.  He reminded me that I'm here for a reason. I'm here not to be comfortable. I'm not here to just live here. (As if I could forget why I'm here....but I fully intend to enjoy this place as well.) He reminded me that it is important to listen to His voice. TO know His voice. To ask for His continual direction. To take things to Him first. To be recharged by His Spirit. To be directed and live by His Spirit. To love the people he has let me live in community with. To ask how they need to be loved and treated. To meet them where they are and only by His Spirit make a difference in their life. Like so many have made a difference in my life by their encouragement, words, prayers, cards, calls, texts, and walks. We are here to live this life together not apart. I'm thankful for connections that span distance. Those are bonds the Lord gives us and strengthens through Him. Keep up your day to day faithfully. Live overflowing. Outpouring. Pursuit to give Him the glory He deserves and that we do not. He is so good to us. He is so good to me. What a birthday to sit and close today with my King. My God. My Comforter.

I found a new doctor this week. Rechecked thyroid levels. I've been pretty good, pretty regulated and dreaded having to change. God provided that. Someone who was compassionate and listened to my history. Really listened. And at the end of the visit said, "You're pretty amazing to do everything you have done through that. Something like that might have slowed most people down. You just kept on going refusing to be derailed."  I am nothing. God did that. And I will add He did that to prove that His Strength, His Spirit is enough. Even with good care, there's an end. There's a stop. He is a provider like no other. My energy who keeps me on path, supplied, and focused.

How nice it is to close a birthday in fellowship with Him. I'm so grateful to have known Him this long. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.....

OCEANS
by: Hillsong

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine