Children of the Day

It's been a fun several weeks in the boat! Fellowship is in full swing with mountains of documentation, articles to review, studying, testing, presentations, and fun hikes and outings. Jody has started school and Reece will officially start next Tuesday as 1st grader! Cale turns 4 tomorrow and Mom has a birthday Sunday, followed by Jody on Sept 5th. The ball is rolling.

I finished up a women's health OB course this weekend in Longmont, CO. Hard decision I must say because I missed the FMUQ class in Denver with the team. Missed several friends as well that were taking the class. Needless to say, I was where I needed to be. Tons of research presented giving the stance for why we can be involved in OB care and recommendations for ways to be proactive for the patients who will soon deliver. It was also some special time to myself to reflect, study, shop, explore, and praise in the beautiful mountains. The drive home wrapped the foothills parkway through Boulder back to 70. I love the sunny drives here. They warm my heart and make me pinch myself that I am here.

I must say that today was emotional. Probably some exhaustion among other things that I know played a part. One was definitely that a best friend from home had her baby yesterday and I could not be there. That was a special thing miss. Hurt my heart a bit honestly. Baby and momma are doing good and enjoying the sweet newness! Another was Cale turns 4 today. Wow...my baby is growing up. My sweet once bundle is a big boy. He's a mess of fun, laughter, trouble, and sweet all rolled up into that little boy. I'm so proud to be his momma, but when your baby starts to get older it starts to set in a little more. So the emotion is really that, nothing more.

Surprisingly after looking through pictures of birth to present I found myself reading articles and finding that I just needed more tonight. I needed a word. So I found myself finally opening the new Beth Moore study that my mom purchased before we left Texas. I finally just let myself set everything else down for more than 20 minutes. And God's timing never ceases to amaze me. Overwhelm me. I missed my bible study group and ladies that I just love to pray with over whatever life is throwing us! So this is for you and anyone else that appreciates a good word. :)

Here's the quick recap:
Children of the Day starts with the church in Thessalonica. Beth highlights toward the end of the study that Jesus also prayed for those who WOULD believe in Him today. Well goodness. To think that Jesus prayed for me, not just knew about me, or that I would one day exist is pretty powerful. Humbling.  But prayed for me. (sigh)

She has us write 3 specific characteristics that make you different from your family or friends and APPRECIATE YOUR DISTINCTIVENESS as a child of God.  I won't share what I wrote but will say that that phrase was like my flashing billboard. So much in the fashion, I wrote the date beside that and my 3 and circled it because I know that I'm going to need to remember today.

In closing, she has you do 2 powerful things.
Stated: You have a place here-- a purpose unique and substantial, not merely some spiritual reality, floating like a fleck in the air. 

          Don't know about you, but it is nice to be reminded of this now and then. For me, NOW. It's nice to read in ink something you've felt. It's nice to read statements that help ground you, boast you, and motivate. God's timing is perfect. His word is flawless.
          Lastly, she has you sign your signature, full name and introduce yourself in a bio in the sand.  Hmmm. Full name: check, description: check. So other than my full name I'll share:
-Child of God
-In Fellowship with Christ and man
-Daughter of the King
-Defined by Him Alone
-Called by Him
-Molded by Him
-Spoken TO
-Given Vision
-Commanded to Act
-On my way
-work in progress

I feel no need at this point to write about my testimony. It's my life story given by Him. I've shared it many times. For those that know me you may have heard parts of it. It's a good story, but it is HIS all the same. At this point, the above is all I need to know. As a popular song says, "He knows my name". Yes He does. And I'm so blessed when He reminds me that He has not forgotten me or grown tired of me. He formed me, made me, grows me, saved me, frames me, builds me, guides me, protects me, delivers me, calls me. There's much that I have to do here where I am. Much that I have to read and study and LOVE TO DO. It's nice to know that He has a purpose for me, for you and that purpose is UNIQUE to us and substantial. He does not have to do any of that.

I leave that in the sand for Him to leave as long as He wants or just wash over me and re-write what I've only given Him the permission to inscribe and affect my heart.
"He knows my name. He calls me chosen, free, forgiven. I am yours."
"I don't need my name in lights, I'm famous in my Father's eyes, make no mistake
He knows my name."

Here's the whole song:

Francesca Battastelli

Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
Somebody less than perfect
I wouldn't choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I'd understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that's just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made
Something out of nothing

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet
I'm meant to be a lion
I'll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I've got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made
Something out of nothing

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure
I am loved

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

Read more: Francesca Battistelli - He Knows My Name Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Ramblings of a Fellow

It has been almost 4 weeks since fellowship officially started. We are really enjoying the Colorado weather and activities. Love meeting so many new people and hearing their stories. Monday we enjoyed Buffalo Pass and Fish Creek Reservoir with the pastor (Jay) and his sweet wife, Joy. Reece and Cale got to enjoy their 8 year old son as well. It is so easy to love it here. Surrounded by God's beauty is almost overwhelming at times. It's also nice to be in cooler weather. Tonight we went to the Routt Co Fair and Rodeo in Hayden. Sitting at a rodeo just made me miss Texas. Maybe it's the county music, boots, horses, and bulls, but it was home to me. It's nice to enjoy some of that here again. That was the hardest part about leaving when I did....I missed the Lovington Rodeo that Justin Sports Medicine taught me to love. Finding rodeo contacts is harder here and I've almost missed the rodeo season. I hope to make some contacts while I'm here and hopefully the Lord will open the door for just that.

Things I've learned to this point:
1. You have to sleep
2. There's always something to do
3. There's always several book and several projects going at once
4. Make time for family and kids. We've had some of the best days together!
5. Make new friends
6. Get out and hike. Enjoy your surroundings.
7. EXERCISE is a must. Sanity at that. I miss my yoga group in Seminole.
8. Eat good food. Drink MORE water. Health is a must. Energy is like gold.
9. Love the Lord. Serve his people.
10. Polish all your techniques and what you know. That's why I'm here.

Focus. Intention. Finding the root of the problem. In your patient. In yourself and improve what you do. Be Intentional in all you do.

Fellowship

So what's this physical therapy fellowship thing all about?! Well here goes!

Fellowship has many meanings. By definition it means:

n. noun

1. The condition of sharing similar interests, ideals, or experiences, as by reason of profession, religion, or nationality.
2. The companionship of individuals in a congenial atmosphere and on equal terms.
3. A close association of friends or equals sharing similar interests
   
   
   
   
   I would agree that my Fellowship is about sharing similar ideals, experiences and interest by reason of profession.  But there's so much more. Fellowship is advanced training to further develop your practice and meant to push you further in your skill set or teaching. I've been asked many times by friends, family, and patients, "What is fellowship? That's cool. But what does that mean." Simply, compare it to the highest level of manual therapy training available in my field as a PT. Jody tells many people that its like getting an offer from Coach K at Duke. You just don't turn that down. 
   
   
   To be the best of the best. But not by any right to claim that. It's not about bragging rights or having letters after your name at this level. It is about being shown EARLY on as a PT student that as IPA reminds me through the brilliant words of Maggie Knott, "Everyone has an untapped existing potential."  (And I want to tap into THAT kind of training! I have great training to this point, but I want to really tap into what I don't know.)  That statement alone should dig deep. It should rattle you. No matter what walk of life your in. EVERYONE has an UNTAPPED, existing POTENTIAL. Holy moly. Can I get an AMEN?! Because that deserves one. Imagine if we not only as therapists, but as people walked that everyday. It would change the life of anyone we treat, meet, develop relationships with, or have "fellowship" with. I'm so blessed by all the patients I've treated to this point in my life. They have taught me that pushing myself is worth it to offer them better care. It is worth it because to this point because medicine does not always have an answer. It is simply the truth of it. I've watched that and lived it. We as therapists (or any professional at that) have to be willing to develop our care to the highest level possible so the person that walks into the clinic and sits in OUR chair can have MORE. More function, more control, more life.  To that point they may have been given medications, pain management, and tried other conservative measures such as acupuncture, massage, hollistics, etc. I say that not flippantly or with an opinion, but simply stated that those are the options until or after surgery. I'll keep it simple in saying that I simply want to know I have done my best for the patient. In school all the cases and scenarios are a theory and an idea. When you start treating even as a student, that disease, surgery, weakness, dysfunction or trauma becomes a NAME and a PERSON. A life affected. It is amazing to have been a part of IPA since I was a PT student.  Even more amazing to be in a group of great teachers. Not just therapist but patient teachers. Therapist who KNOW not just to tell a patient that their posture or movement is wrong, but knows HOW to train them to correct it.  Teaches them how to stabilize that posture and strengthen once it is correct then gets them moving better and AGAIN breaks the cycle of pain. Teaches them HOW TO stop hurting themselves when they didn't even know it was happening or if they did, how to fix it themselves. There's a beautiful ART in that. How to specify treatment and exercises for each person's demands. To see it done so beautifully by a group of mentors who have studied, practiced, done the HARD leg work to offer this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is incredible. To know when I'm done, that I'll be pushed, challenged, pushed some more because they know efficient when they see it is humbling, but amazing and empowering to know how much better I will be for THE PATIENT. Jody tells me all the time when I practice PNF patterns on him, "You know, I hate this. It makes me realize how weak I am.  And how different my body would be if I had had this kind of therapy at the time of my accident, not years later." Coming from him, that means a lot. (The quick recap if you don't know, is that in Jody's freshman year of college he was in a car accident that almost killed him. He had a pelvic fracture surgically repaired that left he extremely weak. No pain, praise the Lord, but weakness all the same.) Maybe that statement, among many others from patients is my driver. The other is simply being shown early on WHAT IS POSSIBLE and knowing that is the path God put me in. 
   
   
   I love it here in Steamboat because it's not just running, but running up a mountain. It's not just road biking, but also mountain biking. Hiking, hot air balloons, kayaking, paddle boarding, tubing, rafting, swimming (in the freezing cold), rock climbing and dance/arts. AND THAT'S just some of their summer season. Oh for the season to change! WOOHOO! Snow shoeing, alpine skiing, nordic skiing, cross-country skiing, etc. I'm so excited to be here with my family. It's a beautiful, family-friendly place that holds many rare opportunities and experiences. The time I (we) spend here will be some of the best and hardest days. It all pays off when your patient walks out different than they walked in!  That's a humbling thing as well, not to have what you do define you, but to offer something that speaks for itself.  As my friends (coworkers) back home know, my response to this is "SEE!! THAT'S why I'm crazy enough to do this! How can you argue with those results! They speak for themselves. Why wouldn't I go further?!" Maybe it's crazy to sell my perfect house, resign from an amazing job and position, and move my entire family to Colorado. Maybe. But what would be crazier would be to turn this down. (If you want further insight into this, read OUTLIERS by Malcom Gladwell.) What would be even crazier after much prayer and hard work, would be to say "I'm too tired. I'm done, I'm happy with where I am."  I'd say to that an unpopular response: How sad. I don't ever want to be done until my life is done. What I have learned is that we are far too material. That is all just stuff. Good stuff. But still stuff. My family is here with me and that is home. Friends are here. The Lord has provided. Fellowship has begun. :)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   As with anything:
             No discipline seems pleasant at the time but rather painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.      Hebrews 12:11
   
   
   Funny how that verse is followed immediately by the verse God gave me when I prayed for my career path in college.  
   
   
   Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.        Hebrews 12:12
   
   
   Inspiration happened years ago and happens everyday. All to HIM. Glory to God alone. 
   
   
   Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE.  The word itself says I'M POSSIBLE.   Audrey Hepburn
   
   
   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.   Phil 2: 3-5
   
   
   And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.    Colossians 3:17
   
   
   But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  Phil 3: 13-14
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Making a House a Home

This is by far the hardest thing I've had to write. This is a sweet morning is our house of 9 years. When you marry a coach you plan on never being in one place very long. At least that's what I thought. Seminole tried to warn me that people come and stay, but I still had my doubts. I can remember the first year in our house I kept saying, well I'll unpack that box if we're here next year. Now this morning the sweet sounds and surroundings that I've grown accommodated to will change tomorrow. As I go out the back door this morning to sit on the porch the security alarm reminds me "kitchen door 2" as I open it. Stepping out the sun peaks over the back fence and cast  shimmers across the blue pool waters. The grass is freshly cut from the day before, prepping for the new owners who move in Friday. I sit in my favorite spot on the glider and soak up the sun. I've spent some sweet time back here. Mornings before my c-sections, studying/reading,  random days when I just want to be outside. The birds are still singing but the dogs aren't pacing in their corner anymore, eagerly waiting for me to come give them scratches and say good morning. Their corner is lonely and empty and I miss them. The yard where kids have crawled and toddled and grown to run, the pool where they took their first dunk to dog paddle, the porch where bikes and wagons and many a chalk drawings have birthed little artists, is quiet this morning. This is the place, the seat where I have pleaded so much with God, had many a talks, many a quite moments, many a battle. This was the place where God grew me. Stretched me. Challenged me. Taught me. How to fight through motherhood, that thyroid cancer is not a finality but a turning it over to him. A trusting him. A faith walk if you will. This is the place where marriage has been real and hard, but sweet and fun. This is the place where God grew the drive and therapist in me. The coach, teacher, and father in Jody. I've been so blessed to study many a late and early hour here. CFMT, OCS, and write a women's health pelvic case study here. What a place, what an experience. The flood of memories rushes back and overwhelm me at HOW MUCH I have asked for in this place that God has allowed me to do, to see, and to SEE FULL-FILLED.

A house is only bricks and mortar. God builds the home and the family in it. Oh what an amazing family he has given me. One to want to love me and walk with me through the next leg of this crazy journey. I have prayed for fellowship in Steamboat for a long time. As a PT student, I got the opportunity to have a rotation there and that was it for me. I knew I was among talent that went beyond the typical. This was truly the next level and thankfully I was being exposed to it in school and shown an advanced approach at the start of my career. Through that rotation, God planted the seed in Steamboat that one day I would go on the become a Certified Functional Manual Therapist. I set my sights on fellowship long ago, committing my plans to God, knowing that if it was not the path He had I would go wherever He had for me. But God does not dangle a carrot and plant a desire that strongly unless He intends to water it and see it through. That's so humbling. I feel so blessed to know that He's just confirmed it every step along the way.

Here's a quick recap. CFMT passed in 2011 after a diagnosis of thyroid cancer and removal 6 weeks before testing. He's just reminding me that He's in control. For those that aren't sure what I do, a VERY simple explanation is a manual therapist uses their hands entirely when working on soft tissues within the body, joints, nerve or resisting to turn on the right muscle or muscle group. (That's very simplified!!)  So for ANY surgery 6 weeks before testing it was scary because prepping for more than a year for a major test process and not being sure if I would even be strong enough to implement the mobilizations was scary. OCS passed (PTL) 2013. Wrote my women's health case and submitted in Feb 2014. What a process it has been. On a blog I wrote over 2 years ago, I refer to the book by Priscilla Shirer One in a Million.  I can now confirm from that post what I eluded to throughout that blog and once again referred to several months ago. I was sitting in the recliner praying over direction and timing. At that time, I was really asking God to reveal whether fellowship would happen, whether it was still His desire for me or something that I latched to and refused to let go of. I had a tremendous opportunity at Hobbs again as rehab supervisor, but my dilemma was signing a 2 year contract and not knowing where fellowship might fall. In that passage that morning, (refer back to blog) it was over "I'm doing something a long way off." In that moment I knew that God was showing me, IT WILL HAPPEN. You are going to go. That was pretty humbling and awesome to hear. It does not matter when, I am responsible for the timing. My timing is PERFECT. Well, as always...it is! I accepted that position 2 years ago this June. This month I have full-filled that contract. Absolutely amazing HE IS!!

So my flood of emotions and memories this morning just simply feels like praise. As my tears fall, as memories rush back and turn these tears to laughter and I am so humbled to simply sit with my Savior this morning, as I have so many times. The blessing is that I know also that week of CFMT testing I sat outside the Christian Hertiage school everyday that testing week and lifted my eyes to the mountain across the street. I prayed so many things that week. Dear Lord.....LET ME PASS. Let this knowledge flood the room, flow through my hands, flow onto the paper. And let me return to this place. To this place as a functional manual therapy (FMT) fellow. God heard me. And He has a wonderful sense of humor. Our rent house is across from the school and I'll get to pray to Him toward that mountain every morning. Isn't He amazing at the details?! I did not ask for that kind of specific, but that's the way He works.

Our house sold in a day. I prayed that it would to be reassured that this was the Lord and nothing else. This journey has been amazing in this house. It has been a HARD task to pack. Hard on a momma, therapist, and working woman. 9 years of memories and 2 kids and more junk than I need. A purging of what is needed and what is just excess. It is almost done. Tomorrow we close and load.  I will walk through an empty house tomorrow and I know that final walk-through will be the same flood it is now. I'm thankful that God builds the people in a home and loves us enough to listen to the prayers and lists we make in them, dreams we build.  One thing I know for sure. This is a house I will miss because through it He has heard me in more ways than one. I brought my babies home here and watched them grow up. That makes it the hardest to leave.  This is not just about me or Jody. This is their PLACE. Their house....the only place thankfully they have known in 6 and 3 years. In typical Reece fashion, she's excited about moving to Steamboat Springs, ColoRADOoo. Let's just say sorry Colorado but you won't have to ask where we are from....just ask Reece. Cale is just excited about building snowmen and learning what this skiing thing is. As long as all the toys get to go, they don't seem to care, but Reece would pack Mrs. Alexander if she could be her teacher next year.  (Thank you for an awesome year!)

Seminole has been a great place. FBC has been the church that has loved us through every phase of our 9 years. The youth we have worked with while we have been here have grown up to be some of our dearest friends. We were so blessed to close our time here last night with a special visit (Hope) from one of our sweet girls. Alex...you have become one of my dearest friends from youth to now. I love each one of you that we have been so blessed to work with here. Our German daughter (Samira) will bless us in Steamboat in September with a visit from her entire family! So in closing.....since this has become a book......I will say Lord thank you for giving  us an amazing first home in a great small Texas town. There's nothing small about the hearts here or the dreams He has given us. To our youth, the Lord has GREAT plans for you, bigger than you would ever set for yourself. DREAM BIG. It is about the Lord alone. Glorify Him, keep yourself and your plans pure and fixed on Him. Submit to Him.

I will take down the final 2 frames from the wall today. They were gifts  given to Jody and I at  wedding showers.  (TEN years in DECEMBER!!!) The framed verses read:
Be still and Know that I am God.   Psalm 46:10
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me...... Psalm 23:6

Easter: Suffocation

What a description tonight at youth that I've heard before but something stood out.  Our fabulous youth director Jase was simply describing the crucifixion. Exactly how that would have taken place. The severity of the wounds, the pain. The hopeless and finality of hanging on a cross. And that's when I heard the word. He suffocated. Every breath was effort and pain and agony to get the next.

Interesting how sometimes in this world it can feel exactly like that. Like we are suffocating. Like it is effort to keep going, to breath. And that is NO laughing matter in this dirt filled air. Whether it is the literal air or the troubles and circumstances we find around ourselves, life can be flat suffocating if we let it become that. Oh how I take too much on at times and let the worry and over analyzation rob me of the peace that the Lord give us. I let the devil just plant the plow of doubt and till up a field I've been working hard to turn over to the Lord. I let the little enemy of "I'm not good enough" or "I didn't think through that hard enough" or SELF creep right in and down right suffocate me with "it is up to me." Oh how THAT goes against my little west Texas self. The little voice I was raised on screams, "you should have tried harder, worked longer, pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, etc...."

So all that was a simple reflection that just hit me square in the face when I heard the word suffocated. Well thank you JESUS that because you took my sin, my shame, I DO NOT HAVE to take it upon myself to be everything and do it all and think through every single situation. I DO NOT have to let this world and its troubles suffocate me of the life YOU have for me IN YOU. There are so many times and so many things that I let rob me, hold me back from the JOY I know is mine to claim. Thank you Jesus that You gave your life, your precious blood for me.

This may seem like a silly and simple example of someone giving something up for me lately but this is a very special example all the same. My husband and I are getting ready for a new adventure! He recently gave up his new truck and piece of Texas to allow us to get an all wheel drive to better serve us through the next adventure. Needless to say, when we left the truck I was crying as he drove off the lot in the new car. He told me, "Be happy. We have a new car!"  Through the tears I sobbed, "I know. It's just hard to watch other people give special things up for me. Thank you."

Jesus gave up His life for me. (Cue the Kleenex!) That is the MOST precious gift. I will never fathom the meaning or the cost. The thought of the magnitude of what He did for me is overwhelming. I can't imagine what it would have been like to watch that day occur. The agony of watching someone die for me.  It's hard enough for me to watch someone I love give something material up, but to watch my SAVIOR give his life. I hate watching anyone give something for me and usually I'm immediately the one who wants to take it upon myself because I don't feel worth the price for someone else to have to suffer or be unhappy.  Christ gave. The thought is unbearable, the lump in my throat makes it hard to complete this sentence. Christ gave and stood in my place so that I didn't have to.  WHAT A GIFT! I will remember that He suffocated and died for me so that I don't have to. He died so we could live and live abundantly! And I plan on living it abundantly for HIM. All the glory goes to HIM. Breathe deep, be thankful for the air that freely fills your lungs. Suffocate no more on the troubles of this life because CHRIST has overcome death. HE IS RISEN! And HE is COMING BACK!!
Happy Easter Ya'll!

Markers and Memorials

In Joshua 4:2-9 when the Israelites cross the Jordan, they take stones to lay as memorials. They were told to tell their children about them later when they asked, "What do these stones mean?"  The response was in verse 7: "tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.  When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.  These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

I've often picked up this practice ever since my days of Wayland Rec and Rejoice Teams.   Those summers were 10+ weeks of amazing church camps, where day after day I could see God working in my life and the lives around me.  They were days that I knew I would want to remember. And so I started collecting my markers/memorials, usually a rock, from where ever we were traveling whenever God moved. They were small and pocket sized, not usually the boulder that required me to mount them on my shoulder, like the passage says. :)  Sometimes, I've purchased something in the area instead to serve as a reminder as well. Usually I put the date on it and a single word reminding me where I was when God moved.  My children also serve as markers for God moving in our lives. Previously, I told you that Jody was never supposed to have children after his accident. Their birthdays serve as the Lord's memorial that He can do great things and every year our family remembers that.  Beth Moore also suggest making a spiritual time line to track his movements. I journal and usually have the dates where God moved, but now looking back through this blog I actually think that this is my marker, my memorial. (memorial: something, esp. a structure, established to remind people of a person or event.  "monument built as a memorial to remember past historical events; civil war, 9/11, etc.)  Often I have huge breaks from my last entries and rarely do I write unless I feel lead to. God fully impresses upon me what I'm compelled to write.  It moves me to write it and now I'm especially thankful that I have this to track such events. It's quite humbling to look back through these blog posts.

One of the greatest post to read over recently was September 25, 2012: A Great Distance Away. WOW! I remember that book, that chapter, page still dog-earred and where I was sitting. I can still remember the power of God's spirit as I read that chapter I referred to in the earlier post. I remember the whisper..."You're going to want to remember this. I'm doing something a long way off. It is going to happen. Today I'm simply showing you. Read what you read again. Remember it. Be patient and wait." Choke. Back. The. Tears. 

Goodness. You're probably thinking all this chick does is cry. Well, when it comes to the Lord moving and actually doing something in my life visible and clear, you would be right. I'd even venture to say that if it doesn't move you in some way when God acts on YOUR behalf.....are you alive and tuned in to know that IT IS HIM!!  Even when it's not clear, He still amazes me. Even when I'm told to wait. Ok.....I know you're timing is PERFECT. There's not a thing I can do for myself now that He can't do better and simplified. Because He's God. And He can do anything. 

He parted the red sea. He made a donkey talk. He stopped the Jordan. He calmed the storm. He died for me. AND ROSE AGAIN. He defeated death. Satan does not win. It is clear to me that my trust is firmly in the One &  Only Savior. Who calms the storm in me. Raises me to life and has many plans for me and through me.  To be much more than I could have ever planned for myself. Oh Jesus, move and use me. Spirit take the lead and calm my spirit to hear and be reminded that you alone already know all the markers and events that I will ever write, journal, or pick up another rock over. Jesus, you already know them. Quite my spirit, my racing mind so I can hear you, who whispers your plans to us. To me.

 I think next time I pick up my memorial, I'll say: "Thank you for this marker. This memorial. Thank you for acting before in Joshua and thank you for acting now in my life. Thank you for already knowing I would have this marker. Thank you for living in me and using me. Use this memorial to bring yourself glory when others ask! I keep this memorial, this marker to remember that you move not only throughout the bible but VISIBLY throughout MY life. These serve as my account that the Lord ALWAYS showed me the next step, the way to go and it required FAITH. Help me step out again and always trust you."

Revelation 3:7
1 Thess. 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. 

Friend of Sinners

About a week ago I got stuck in Dallas after a CE course.  The sleet, snow, and ice kept my mom, kids and I from leaving and we got to enjoy another night at my aunt and uncle's. The next day instead of getting to break up the drive for us, I drove the 6+ hours straight. Wasn't bad but definitely not by choice for the kiddos. It was actually a great drive. Some definite snow and ice, but mostly worn down to slush by the time I left.  As usual, I found that music makes ANY drive better and transforms my mind. I do some of my best thinking, praying, and planning in my car. I love the road, the possibilities, and I'm humbled by the fact that the Lord plans for us and will reveal it if we only ask. The song below once again brought me to tears. Unbelievable the power of these words. I was reminded that each of us has incredible mercy and grace spilled over us in order to stand and wake every day. I'm so humbled that the Lord gives me that every day.

 "You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet."

Read the words for yourself. I'm unable to stand listening to this. I'm brought to my knees. Reminded of the beautiful sacrifice Jesus gave. Not for me to act how I want. Pass judgement, speak without thinking, careless with words, all for what. Because of stress and exhaustion and selfishness. My reasons cannot stand in the presence of His grace. His beautiful mercy. My heart humbly bows before Him. 

"Jesus, Friend Of Sinners"

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Yeah...

Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet