That chokes me up just writing that title. There was a point in time where Jody and I were not sure that would even be possible. Family. We knew that it would be us and that was enough. After a very bad car accident, doctors told him that he would never be able to. Now of course we have 2 beautiful kids that remind us that God FULLY HEALS and FULLY ANSWERS. He does the impossible. Reece and Cale are the light of our lives. Sunshine and joy in the morning. Family is a precious word that I am so thankful for. Family means I don't have to go through this life alone and I get to past fun traditions and stories on to my kids. I also get to teach them about Jesus.....the most important part of my life. A relationship so special that it is unmatched by any other. During my "isolation" time, God showed me how important it is to pass things on to them. To plan for them. Provide for them with His provision. To love and care for them. To detail "the little things" that make life sweeter and make them feel like no one is more important than them. It is a special gift to love your family and your kids with God's love. Unconditional. To teach them that life is beautiful and wonderful. But even more than you can imagine when HE is in your life and HE is your everything.
Beth Moore James study had a great tidbit this week. It talked about how life can sometimes get bitter because of people, situations, circumstances, or you fill in the blank. Jesus makes life sweeter. Exodus 15: 22-26, especially verse 25 says that the Lord showed Moses a piece of wood and he threw it in the water and made it sweet. Of course she draws you through the awesome parallel that the piece of wood that sweetened our life was the cross and what Christ has done for us. Truly awesome! I have chewed on that all day. What a great truth! I want to make their life sweeter because that what He has done for me and for them. I prayed that over my labs this morning that pure sweetness would take anything crazy out that my last set of test showed. Makes me sad that just when I thought I was done, another set commences. His blood can makes anything sweet and that is exactly what I am asking for.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
James
The Beth Moore study of James...Mercy Triumphs is great! I must say that tonight kicked my tail. A very good kick I might add. Not one that I have not read several times because this is one of my favorite books. She just explained this verse in such a great way that made it hit the head and the heart at the same time. Yes I know the verse and thought I understood the meaning. But thinking about it, being taught more about it and having someone shed this kind of light is what I needed for it to really transfer. I love grasping a concept deeply. Really basking in the real meaning and not missing important words and messages.
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
This verse has always been a bit of a mystery to me. The words that helped me tonight were ACCEPTS and POLLUTED. Religion that God accepts. That is interesting. This may be what we have always known, grown up with, or been taught. We have lots of ideas about religion and what it looks like, how it should be practiced, what worship is and so on. Reading the above verse again, I have to say that I have been wrong. It is nothing about the things that we make it to be. It is simple so long as we don't let others opinions or the demands of our own lives dictate us actually following through with those things. She takes you through other verses that address: poor, oppressed, fatherless, widows again. It is not our idea of what God will accept but what HE accepts as pure and faultless.
For me the next word was the most powerful. POLLUTED. Setting the lesson down I picture oil spills, litter in parks, dirty streets, filthy environments from old buildings to smog like Beth would ask you to picture. Yuck! My lungs and eyes are burning just at the thought. I cringe and pull back knowing that if I could pick a different street to walk down I would. I picture the dirty, stinky streets in New York that could use a good washing. Pollution is disgusting but our lives are just as messy and hard to clean. In a book I am reading now called The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, he discusses how we are in a world of Information Overload. That could also be considered a pollution. Everything grabs for our attention, fighting to hold it. Issues that really aren't worth our time grab it and fog our thinking and distract us from accomplishing things that might actually have an impact. Pollution keeps us from doing what God called us to do.
Her punch line sentences are always so convicting:
"How do we serve in it without smelling like it? With serious discipline, determination, courage, and deep conviction. You live His religion on purpose. Religion pure and undefiled is GRIT WITHOUT THE GRIME."
I love it! The last sentence was what my heart often feels but I feel like I walk away from circumstances completely covered in grime. She ends the lesson with the best!! "When we sniff ourselves and smell the world, we run to the One who can wash us." How true! I am nothing without Him. It is a relationship that makes religion like that real. What a great translation to a verse that I needed some help with.
Now as James would say....go DO IT! (Lord I pray that I can and that you'll help me!)
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
This verse has always been a bit of a mystery to me. The words that helped me tonight were ACCEPTS and POLLUTED. Religion that God accepts. That is interesting. This may be what we have always known, grown up with, or been taught. We have lots of ideas about religion and what it looks like, how it should be practiced, what worship is and so on. Reading the above verse again, I have to say that I have been wrong. It is nothing about the things that we make it to be. It is simple so long as we don't let others opinions or the demands of our own lives dictate us actually following through with those things. She takes you through other verses that address: poor, oppressed, fatherless, widows again. It is not our idea of what God will accept but what HE accepts as pure and faultless.
For me the next word was the most powerful. POLLUTED. Setting the lesson down I picture oil spills, litter in parks, dirty streets, filthy environments from old buildings to smog like Beth would ask you to picture. Yuck! My lungs and eyes are burning just at the thought. I cringe and pull back knowing that if I could pick a different street to walk down I would. I picture the dirty, stinky streets in New York that could use a good washing. Pollution is disgusting but our lives are just as messy and hard to clean. In a book I am reading now called The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, he discusses how we are in a world of Information Overload. That could also be considered a pollution. Everything grabs for our attention, fighting to hold it. Issues that really aren't worth our time grab it and fog our thinking and distract us from accomplishing things that might actually have an impact. Pollution keeps us from doing what God called us to do.
Her punch line sentences are always so convicting:
"How do we serve in it without smelling like it? With serious discipline, determination, courage, and deep conviction. You live His religion on purpose. Religion pure and undefiled is GRIT WITHOUT THE GRIME."
I love it! The last sentence was what my heart often feels but I feel like I walk away from circumstances completely covered in grime. She ends the lesson with the best!! "When we sniff ourselves and smell the world, we run to the One who can wash us." How true! I am nothing without Him. It is a relationship that makes religion like that real. What a great translation to a verse that I needed some help with.
Now as James would say....go DO IT! (Lord I pray that I can and that you'll help me!)
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Living in Righteousness
These post are getting harder to write. Or perhaps this is the hardest. For obvious reasons. RIGHTEOUSNESS. Well I definitely am not on my own or by my own will or effort. Righteousness is unobtainable without Christ. Righteousness is the very qualities and being of Jesus. So if we are trying to "just try harder" or "commit more time to commit better effort" good luck. This is appropriately timed since so far I have procrastinated on the list I promised to post......but I have to say that even in my poor effort I think God will be glorified in this timing. Last night and today as so many, including myself, set NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS I think the best is this. Strive to hand your efforts, commitments, goals, and life over to Christ. Only He holds the future. Your goal should be Him.
James 4: 13-14 tells us that:
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
I set goals every year. Looking back over this last year I can say that I am truly blessed beyond words. I sit too humbled as I make my list of thankfulness: 1. blessed by 2 sweet health kids 2. even more blessed by a sweet, Godly husband who also demonstrates his understanding and helps me around the house even when he is tired and busy 3. blessed by a sweet friend and study partner with CFMT (Kaysi) 4. Passed CFMT 5. Applied for fellowship (don't care the results but GOD got me to the point where I could) 6. Found the small amount of cancer, successfully removed it, and is helping me find my new balance 7. blessed me with people that I've known forever that I am still blessed to have strong friendships or contact with. 8. Continue to be blessed by a 4 day week and a wonderful day to spend with my children. 9. Time to spend in the Word
These are just a few. I could go on and on but God knows them so well. I've already begun to make my list for this year. That's how I operate. I love the thrill of setting goals and meeting them. Not just for the sake of setting goals to say I did. Or to check them off when I meet them. It is the thrill of knowing that when I set a goal it is useless if I do not ask what the Lord would have first. James 4: 15 says: Instead, you ought to say, " If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." I know that I can set goals but it is truly up to Him and what He wants. What is truly amazing is that often He wants us to simply consult Him first. Before we set out and make decisions. Simply ASK. The results are unbelievable when He blesses us to see the results and brings them about. I'm thankful that He knows our greatest desires and grants those. I have also been equally grateful when I have wanted something so bad that it hurts and He doesn't give it to me. I love when He reminds me what I asked for and shows me how He answered that request to give me something greater than I thought to ask for. He's a gracious and giving God.
So how does that tie back to living in righteousness. Well, truthfully at this point God has taught me that if it is not from Him and if it is not what He wants for me, it is not worth having. I pray over my goals again that they may be avenues that bless others, bless my family, and glorify Him FULLY. I pray that these goals will be beyond myself so that His presence may be obvious to others. I pray that self, selfishness, pride, jealousy, hardness of heart, bitterness, or ambition do not enter into these goals today or throughout the year. I pray for His righteousness in my life and in my family. Thank God I know Him and am saved by Him and He covers my imperfections. He is my ultimate goal! He's the reason for setting them. I want them to be His fruit. I pray He teaches me what living in righteousness means & looks like and that I never look to the world to define that for me.
James 4: 13-14 tells us that:
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
I set goals every year. Looking back over this last year I can say that I am truly blessed beyond words. I sit too humbled as I make my list of thankfulness: 1. blessed by 2 sweet health kids 2. even more blessed by a sweet, Godly husband who also demonstrates his understanding and helps me around the house even when he is tired and busy 3. blessed by a sweet friend and study partner with CFMT (Kaysi) 4. Passed CFMT 5. Applied for fellowship (don't care the results but GOD got me to the point where I could) 6. Found the small amount of cancer, successfully removed it, and is helping me find my new balance 7. blessed me with people that I've known forever that I am still blessed to have strong friendships or contact with. 8. Continue to be blessed by a 4 day week and a wonderful day to spend with my children. 9. Time to spend in the Word
These are just a few. I could go on and on but God knows them so well. I've already begun to make my list for this year. That's how I operate. I love the thrill of setting goals and meeting them. Not just for the sake of setting goals to say I did. Or to check them off when I meet them. It is the thrill of knowing that when I set a goal it is useless if I do not ask what the Lord would have first. James 4: 15 says: Instead, you ought to say, " If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." I know that I can set goals but it is truly up to Him and what He wants. What is truly amazing is that often He wants us to simply consult Him first. Before we set out and make decisions. Simply ASK. The results are unbelievable when He blesses us to see the results and brings them about. I'm thankful that He knows our greatest desires and grants those. I have also been equally grateful when I have wanted something so bad that it hurts and He doesn't give it to me. I love when He reminds me what I asked for and shows me how He answered that request to give me something greater than I thought to ask for. He's a gracious and giving God.
So how does that tie back to living in righteousness. Well, truthfully at this point God has taught me that if it is not from Him and if it is not what He wants for me, it is not worth having. I pray over my goals again that they may be avenues that bless others, bless my family, and glorify Him FULLY. I pray that these goals will be beyond myself so that His presence may be obvious to others. I pray that self, selfishness, pride, jealousy, hardness of heart, bitterness, or ambition do not enter into these goals today or throughout the year. I pray for His righteousness in my life and in my family. Thank God I know Him and am saved by Him and He covers my imperfections. He is my ultimate goal! He's the reason for setting them. I want them to be His fruit. I pray He teaches me what living in righteousness means & looks like and that I never look to the world to define that for me.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Christmas
For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9: 6
What a wonderful season to enjoy in the Big Apple. All the decorations are enormous and everything is elaborate! I love being in the center of the decorations and the spirit of the season. People are singing, gathering around the Tree, shopping, and running here and there. Yes we all know that we are not always surrounded by the real reason for Christmas. For Jody and I we are doubly blessed to celebrate our 7th anniversary in a city where we are just big kids. Kids who ooooo and ahh at all the lights, shop windows, trees and season. We love it. It reminds us of the day that will always be precious to us. Thankfully it is so very close to the birthday of the King! Such a wonderful season to celebrate the reason for Christmas. It is all about Him, even in a world that makes it about money and stuff. I love walking in a store and walking out because the prices are completely absurd. Really....why would I pay that? What else could I do with the money. It is international missions month at church.....ummm maybe that would be better than a $600 dress. Ridiculous! I laugh and look at Jody and say....lets get out of here. The real reason of Christmas is celebrated daily in our hearts as we honor Him. Remember Him. Ponder His coming and celebrate that He finished what He came to do. For that we have hope and peace this season. Heaven's peace came down and filled our hearts.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Wait, Work, Watch
Yes, it has been a while again. Thankfully I have found that things are calming down. I am feeling better and with that energy return and balance I am becoming a crazed house cleaner and organizing everything I can get my hands on. It is about time. I'm completing projects that I have meant to do for months. So forgive me for being so slow to complete the list I promised. This one will be fun to write because I was reviewing my journal entries and the "What in the World is Going On" book that I read during my "isolation" time. Great book, awesome points, and I SOOO appreciate a well written and well researched book. I love statistics and comparisons, so the book won me quickly with facts like the US is the #1 consumer of gas but #11 in oil reserves. Ummmm....problem numero uno. That math doesn't work now does it?!
Read 2 Peter 1:5-8
Then 2 Peter 3:1-18
Woohoo!
There were all sorts of sobering facts through the What in the World book. The theme was one simply to keep "plugging along, faithfully fitting into the place where God put us as productive member of society." Reading this book and Revelations continue to be very eye opening but not in a scary sense. From there I read in reverse back to 2 Corinthians and was surprised at how many references verses made to persevere, be patient, continue doing good, the Lord is coming back. Yes He is! NO ONE knows when or where or how or dates or times. That has been made very clear. I now appreciate the theme more throughout the New Testament of the constant promises and hope we have. It reminds me that the daily tasks are not tasks at all. They are opportunities we are given. It is so vital that we take these tasks seriously and not slop our way through them but let the Lord transform the ordinary into extraordinary. Sometimes this requires, at times, patience to wait for God's timing, to just keep pressing into the task at hand as if working for the Lord and other times He lets of be a part of the "harvest". Times where goodness pours out. Whatever time you find yourself in....reflect on it. Be thankful for whatever stage of waiting, working, watching, or harvesting you are in. The Lord's timing is so perfect and worth waiting for.
What I know I did not read anywhere was to relax. Yes, find ways to decrease stress and not take things so seriously that you forget how to laugh and not internalize everything. Stay focused on what the Lord has told you to do and how He wants you to go about it. Honor Him. Glorify Him. Focus on Him. Do not become distracted. But do not worry. Do not make yourself sick trying to control things, make things happen, or stress think everything. (I can write it because He has to teach me how to avoid these!) Of course we can only do this with the Lord's help because we are human. We need His help to focus our mind on what He cares about. Keep focused on the things that really matter, to make sure we are staying on track for what He wants. What a filter! What a challenge! I'm glad that it is not up to me. There is great comfort knowing how incapable I am and how much I have to depend on HIM to offer my best. To keep going when I want to quit, then to realize that He didn't so I can't either. Jesus is a perfect Savior and lived among us. Understands our pressure, our tasks, our conflicts, our struggles, our lives, our work, our impatience yet HE was completely PERFECT. He lived a perfect life. One we can model our life after and continue to offer hope to a hurting world. If He hasn't come back, that's our task. To continue to live for Him, seek Him, and share Him. What a great task and that gives me great hope and great JOY during this Christmas season! He has come for us as a sweet baby to grow up in a lost world. To set the ultimate example for us. To show us what LOVE really is. God's precious, perfect, HOLY SON.
Read 2 Peter 1:5-8
Then 2 Peter 3:1-18
Woohoo!
There were all sorts of sobering facts through the What in the World book. The theme was one simply to keep "plugging along, faithfully fitting into the place where God put us as productive member of society." Reading this book and Revelations continue to be very eye opening but not in a scary sense. From there I read in reverse back to 2 Corinthians and was surprised at how many references verses made to persevere, be patient, continue doing good, the Lord is coming back. Yes He is! NO ONE knows when or where or how or dates or times. That has been made very clear. I now appreciate the theme more throughout the New Testament of the constant promises and hope we have. It reminds me that the daily tasks are not tasks at all. They are opportunities we are given. It is so vital that we take these tasks seriously and not slop our way through them but let the Lord transform the ordinary into extraordinary. Sometimes this requires, at times, patience to wait for God's timing, to just keep pressing into the task at hand as if working for the Lord and other times He lets of be a part of the "harvest". Times where goodness pours out. Whatever time you find yourself in....reflect on it. Be thankful for whatever stage of waiting, working, watching, or harvesting you are in. The Lord's timing is so perfect and worth waiting for.
What I know I did not read anywhere was to relax. Yes, find ways to decrease stress and not take things so seriously that you forget how to laugh and not internalize everything. Stay focused on what the Lord has told you to do and how He wants you to go about it. Honor Him. Glorify Him. Focus on Him. Do not become distracted. But do not worry. Do not make yourself sick trying to control things, make things happen, or stress think everything. (I can write it because He has to teach me how to avoid these!) Of course we can only do this with the Lord's help because we are human. We need His help to focus our mind on what He cares about. Keep focused on the things that really matter, to make sure we are staying on track for what He wants. What a filter! What a challenge! I'm glad that it is not up to me. There is great comfort knowing how incapable I am and how much I have to depend on HIM to offer my best. To keep going when I want to quit, then to realize that He didn't so I can't either. Jesus is a perfect Savior and lived among us. Understands our pressure, our tasks, our conflicts, our struggles, our lives, our work, our impatience yet HE was completely PERFECT. He lived a perfect life. One we can model our life after and continue to offer hope to a hurting world. If He hasn't come back, that's our task. To continue to live for Him, seek Him, and share Him. What a great task and that gives me great hope and great JOY during this Christmas season! He has come for us as a sweet baby to grow up in a lost world. To set the ultimate example for us. To show us what LOVE really is. God's precious, perfect, HOLY SON.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Focus and Persevere: What is your filter?
I guess sometimes my filter is silence. Call it great raisin' but I was always taught if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. That has been the safest thing lately. For 3 weeks I have had skin reactions so bad that I thought I would literally claw my skin off. Maybe its thyroid levels being high and then extremes low, treatment, or coming back on meds. Stress, hormone changes, treatments, overload. My body is just exhausted. When you itch that bad and every inch is covered in hives and redness and rash, there is not much left emotionally. This has been the bottom so my silence has been a good thing. I am sick of this. I am tired of not feeling like myself. There.... SAID IT. Posted it. Committed to the feeling instead of denying it.
Today did not give the answers that I wanted but I am still thankful. Thankful for my husband who stood up for me. Who went to visits with me that I dreaded. I have answers that I just have to wait for the skin to clear. Allergic reactions are fun especially went the cause is "unknown." Of course I have my list narrowed.
So I am once again reminded of my isolation time. God gave me time alone to FOCUS on his word. Throughout the new testament we are told over and over to persevere. Keep the faith. Do not give up, HE is coming back. PERSEVERE and do not forget that. When times are easy, do not forget that the LORD IS GOOD. When times confusing, DO not forget that the LORD endures. When times are ridiculous, God is still in the middle of them. When our world seems to be full of our own chaos, there is a bigger purpose and God's purpose is what matters more. These things should be our focus. He should be our filter FIRST. Not facebook, not even our blog. Not our best friend or spouse. God is my filter and Lord knows that I need to let Him filter more of me so that pure product pours our. Not dense, contaminated, selfishness but His compassion that helps us look beyond ourselves and our overwhelming situations. Focusing on Him allows us to take our eyes off ourselves. Focus on the things that last and persevere in doing the things that He tells us to. Filtering with His precious word and presence.
Today did not give the answers that I wanted but I am still thankful. Thankful for my husband who stood up for me. Who went to visits with me that I dreaded. I have answers that I just have to wait for the skin to clear. Allergic reactions are fun especially went the cause is "unknown." Of course I have my list narrowed.
So I am once again reminded of my isolation time. God gave me time alone to FOCUS on his word. Throughout the new testament we are told over and over to persevere. Keep the faith. Do not give up, HE is coming back. PERSEVERE and do not forget that. When times are easy, do not forget that the LORD IS GOOD. When times confusing, DO not forget that the LORD endures. When times are ridiculous, God is still in the middle of them. When our world seems to be full of our own chaos, there is a bigger purpose and God's purpose is what matters more. These things should be our focus. He should be our filter FIRST. Not facebook, not even our blog. Not our best friend or spouse. God is my filter and Lord knows that I need to let Him filter more of me so that pure product pours our. Not dense, contaminated, selfishness but His compassion that helps us look beyond ourselves and our overwhelming situations. Focusing on Him allows us to take our eyes off ourselves. Focus on the things that last and persevere in doing the things that He tells us to. Filtering with His precious word and presence.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Reflecting
Time alone with God is always productive. Isolation time was very different. It was a knowing you are here for a purpose and you better get something really good out of this. You better listen up... I've got something to say to you. Something that only God can tell you. Reflecting back, my head was jumbled with so many things. Why I am here? Why did this happen? Why did anything have to be there? Why do I have to depend on medication regulation the rest of my life? I just wanted to use the time to de-clutter my thoughts and let God filter out the trash and hold onto more of him. That is so important to have time to do that and I feel with the daily hussle and bussle, I never have time anymore. REAL TIME to just loose track of time and not care. I'm sure that most of us feel like that. We have to prioritize. I have to do better. But that still has one word TOO many in it. Too much I....not enough God.
I realized this as I was trying to process everything that had happened to that point. It was the first break I had gone from diagnosis, to surgery, then after certification to really stop and process what had occurred. WOW. God did all that....brought me through it. I felt half drug-through with all the scrapes and bruises but in reality NO. I was fine. He brought me through literally on eagles wings. I had felt that so many times sitting on my back porch in my favorite swing....."Lord this is too much right now. You have to be kidding. I have this test I cannot handle anymore." His soft voice had reassured me so much....no you cannot handle it, but I can. I need you to move out of the way and just let me handle it. Let me move through you and you just move over. Well okay....that's easy enough when you felt pressed to the limit, like seriously...one more thing and I promise I may just crack. It is humbling to feel like you are clinging to the side of a cliff. Like one wrong move, one bad foothold and I'll crash and burn.
I found myself leaning back on the headboard of the bed. Sinking into the hard wood and finally feeling the relief, the release, the complex relax. There was nowhere else more precious to find yourself than leaning back and letting go of the "I, I, I have to hold this all together. I have to be strong. I have to be tough. I have to study harder. I have to be super mom and wife and PT." The relax, like you long for when you feel muscle soften like butter and the stress melt away, comes when you realize that "I" don't have to do anything but come to this point. The end of myself. And lean back and let go, and LET GOD. Such a fabulous saying but living it each time is another thing all together. It is a RELIEF to let God. It is good to be moved aside in whatever circumstance and feel that He has a bigger purpose for what you are going through. Or just came out of. Or you are about to go through. That's the way it usually works. My mother-in-law says it all the time: you have either just come out of it, about to go into it, or you are in it now. So very true. Use it Lord, because it is all in vain if you don't. Using it Lord, after all, is all for your glory and not for us to worry about making sense of it. Sure is nice when He shows us to remember HIS perspective.
GOD DOES, GOD CAN, and GOD WILL.
I realized this as I was trying to process everything that had happened to that point. It was the first break I had gone from diagnosis, to surgery, then after certification to really stop and process what had occurred. WOW. God did all that....brought me through it. I felt half drug-through with all the scrapes and bruises but in reality NO. I was fine. He brought me through literally on eagles wings. I had felt that so many times sitting on my back porch in my favorite swing....."Lord this is too much right now. You have to be kidding. I have this test I cannot handle anymore." His soft voice had reassured me so much....no you cannot handle it, but I can. I need you to move out of the way and just let me handle it. Let me move through you and you just move over. Well okay....that's easy enough when you felt pressed to the limit, like seriously...one more thing and I promise I may just crack. It is humbling to feel like you are clinging to the side of a cliff. Like one wrong move, one bad foothold and I'll crash and burn.
I found myself leaning back on the headboard of the bed. Sinking into the hard wood and finally feeling the relief, the release, the complex relax. There was nowhere else more precious to find yourself than leaning back and letting go of the "I, I, I have to hold this all together. I have to be strong. I have to be tough. I have to study harder. I have to be super mom and wife and PT." The relax, like you long for when you feel muscle soften like butter and the stress melt away, comes when you realize that "I" don't have to do anything but come to this point. The end of myself. And lean back and let go, and LET GOD. Such a fabulous saying but living it each time is another thing all together. It is a RELIEF to let God. It is good to be moved aside in whatever circumstance and feel that He has a bigger purpose for what you are going through. Or just came out of. Or you are about to go through. That's the way it usually works. My mother-in-law says it all the time: you have either just come out of it, about to go into it, or you are in it now. So very true. Use it Lord, because it is all in vain if you don't. Using it Lord, after all, is all for your glory and not for us to worry about making sense of it. Sure is nice when He shows us to remember HIS perspective.
GOD DOES, GOD CAN, and GOD WILL.
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