Devils Causeway and Flat Tops Wilderness Hike

DISCOVERING THE FLAT TOPS

This was no ordinary Sunday. Started bright an early with yoga 9-10:15 downtown and raced to church, yes in my yoga gear with a large north face 1/2 zip to cover. Only in Steamboat! :)

After church, Jody and I had been tossing around the idea of hiking Devils Causeway for a while but with the colors changing it was definitely a sign that the days are numbered before the snow falls in upper elevations.  So a quick sandwich with the kids and off we went. 

Devils Causeway takes you through Oak Creek and Yampa to Routt National Forest. Simply tucked into the beautiful landscape of changing trees and gorgeous mountains, the drive itself will likely take us back next week to let mom and the kids enjoy a picnic among the colors. 

Here's just a few of the drive through the forest before we had to park. 

                                                     My FAVORITE tree. This will be framed!

This description is what you'll find on the web. There's a scary picture of some hikers actually WALKING across the causeway instead of crawling on the site. Check it out.

Devils Causeway is named for this ridge at 11,800 feet which brings chills to those who are afraid of heights and causes those who are not afraid of heights to become afraid. This hike, which ascends the Chinese Wall in the Flat Tops Wilderness, contains a narrow 3-foot wide, 150 foot long segment of broken rock with 1,500 ft drops on either side. This segment, which gives the trail its name, is demonic indeed. Anyone with the slightest bit of acrophobia will cower, cringe.




                                          Getting closer. This just makes anyone feel small.

                            View from the top before the steps ascend toward the causeway

                                      Clouds cleared to let us finish. Isn't God good to let us enjoy this?!

                                     This is as FAR as I go. On either side the peripheral is tripping! The wall insets a bit more than this picture shows and drops straight down. I'm terrified of heights. But today I overcame this. I stood here looking out until the fear passed and sense told me, you're good. You did it. Turn around and walk back up. That was the worst part. THE PERIPHERAL still works. I needed horse blinder. Never had vertigo, but this could do it to you.

                     Devils Causeway. Connects to the china wall so if you make it across (crawling) to the Chinese wall then continue across you can complete the 10.5 loop. NO THANKS, not that way. :)

               Jody's AWESOME! He got further than I did, but sadly forgot to the leave camera.    SELFIE!!!!

                                               Climbing down, the winding trail below.

                                                        We DID IT!

                                              Capturing some beautiful golden tops!

Little girl, great big heart

Today is the day that Reece and I make the cut! About 8 years ago I donated my hair to lock of love and today I get to do this with my daughter. She's amazingly grown up about it. About 3 months ago she asked me about a picture with our dog Tucker. "Why is your hair so short mommy?'' And I told her the story about wanting to donate for someone else. Hair is a simple thing to give I told her. And she quickly wanted to do the same. With the big move this summer to Steamboat I didn't want there to be so much change that she regretted it. But as the days pass, she has really grown more and more excited about doing this. "AHH. I'm so ready to cut my hair. I'm tired of it being in my face!", she would say. Reece is amazing. While still a child who naturally does selfish things like steal toys from her brother, makes sure she is first every time, and knows nothing about fair sharing, she's giving someone else something that they wouldn't have.

As we looked over the website last night and looked through donor and recipient pictures, she was excited about it even more. It became very real to her what she was about to do. Underneath all the kid is a great big heart for other people.  It is amazing to watch this child unfold and grow everyday into more of the little person that God has designed her to be. 6 years old and giving. Learning to look beyond herself to the world around her and say, I can do that, that's not much to give for someone else. I have to say that I'm a proud momma today. She has a beautiful heart!

Proverbs 21: 29-30
Many daughters have done worthily, but thou excellest them all. Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

May 2006, First locks of love cut

July 2006

Last Sunday, Middle Creek Ranch/Anchor Way BBQ

  Picture Day, Wed Sept 10th

  Walking into Brio Salon, Steamboat Springs

 Waiting. She can hardly stand it!!

 BRIO!

 Angela makes the cut!

 First glance. She loves it! Chopped the 11 inches for Locks of Love

All done! Pretty girl!! You're getting so big!

First snap. 

"I want my picture by the hammock!"

WHAT a fun Girls day according to Reece! We finished it off with shopping for clips at Walmart and bought her a new north face fleece and sunglasses at Sports Authority. GREAT GIRLS DAY!!!

Mom went along for the fun and so I could actually enjoy getting mine cut while Reece was waiting. Thank Angela @ Brio! We loves our cuts! We were able to donate 25 total inches today! WOW! That was fun!!

Children of the Day

It's been a fun several weeks in the boat! Fellowship is in full swing with mountains of documentation, articles to review, studying, testing, presentations, and fun hikes and outings. Jody has started school and Reece will officially start next Tuesday as 1st grader! Cale turns 4 tomorrow and Mom has a birthday Sunday, followed by Jody on Sept 5th. The ball is rolling.

I finished up a women's health OB course this weekend in Longmont, CO. Hard decision I must say because I missed the FMUQ class in Denver with the team. Missed several friends as well that were taking the class. Needless to say, I was where I needed to be. Tons of research presented giving the stance for why we can be involved in OB care and recommendations for ways to be proactive for the patients who will soon deliver. It was also some special time to myself to reflect, study, shop, explore, and praise in the beautiful mountains. The drive home wrapped the foothills parkway through Boulder back to 70. I love the sunny drives here. They warm my heart and make me pinch myself that I am here.

I must say that today was emotional. Probably some exhaustion among other things that I know played a part. One was definitely that a best friend from home had her baby yesterday and I could not be there. That was a special thing miss. Hurt my heart a bit honestly. Baby and momma are doing good and enjoying the sweet newness! Another was Cale turns 4 today. Wow...my baby is growing up. My sweet once bundle is a big boy. He's a mess of fun, laughter, trouble, and sweet all rolled up into that little boy. I'm so proud to be his momma, but when your baby starts to get older it starts to set in a little more. So the emotion is really that, nothing more.

Surprisingly after looking through pictures of birth to present I found myself reading articles and finding that I just needed more tonight. I needed a word. So I found myself finally opening the new Beth Moore study that my mom purchased before we left Texas. I finally just let myself set everything else down for more than 20 minutes. And God's timing never ceases to amaze me. Overwhelm me. I missed my bible study group and ladies that I just love to pray with over whatever life is throwing us! So this is for you and anyone else that appreciates a good word. :)

Here's the quick recap:
Children of the Day starts with the church in Thessalonica. Beth highlights toward the end of the study that Jesus also prayed for those who WOULD believe in Him today. Well goodness. To think that Jesus prayed for me, not just knew about me, or that I would one day exist is pretty powerful. Humbling.  But prayed for me. (sigh)

She has us write 3 specific characteristics that make you different from your family or friends and APPRECIATE YOUR DISTINCTIVENESS as a child of God.  I won't share what I wrote but will say that that phrase was like my flashing billboard. So much in the fashion, I wrote the date beside that and my 3 and circled it because I know that I'm going to need to remember today.

In closing, she has you do 2 powerful things.
Stated: You have a place here-- a purpose unique and substantial, not merely some spiritual reality, floating like a fleck in the air. 

          Don't know about you, but it is nice to be reminded of this now and then. For me, NOW. It's nice to read in ink something you've felt. It's nice to read statements that help ground you, boast you, and motivate. God's timing is perfect. His word is flawless.
          Lastly, she has you sign your signature, full name and introduce yourself in a bio in the sand.  Hmmm. Full name: check, description: check. So other than my full name I'll share:
-Child of God
-In Fellowship with Christ and man
-Daughter of the King
-Defined by Him Alone
-Called by Him
-Molded by Him
-Spoken TO
-Given Vision
-Commanded to Act
-On my way
-work in progress

I feel no need at this point to write about my testimony. It's my life story given by Him. I've shared it many times. For those that know me you may have heard parts of it. It's a good story, but it is HIS all the same. At this point, the above is all I need to know. As a popular song says, "He knows my name". Yes He does. And I'm so blessed when He reminds me that He has not forgotten me or grown tired of me. He formed me, made me, grows me, saved me, frames me, builds me, guides me, protects me, delivers me, calls me. There's much that I have to do here where I am. Much that I have to read and study and LOVE TO DO. It's nice to know that He has a purpose for me, for you and that purpose is UNIQUE to us and substantial. He does not have to do any of that.

I leave that in the sand for Him to leave as long as He wants or just wash over me and re-write what I've only given Him the permission to inscribe and affect my heart.
"He knows my name. He calls me chosen, free, forgiven. I am yours."
"I don't need my name in lights, I'm famous in my Father's eyes, make no mistake
He knows my name."

Here's the whole song:

Francesca Battastelli

Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
Somebody less than perfect
I wouldn't choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I'd understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that's just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made
Something out of nothing

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet
I'm meant to be a lion
I'll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I've got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made
Something out of nothing

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure
I am loved

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes

I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

Read more: Francesca Battistelli - He Knows My Name Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Ramblings of a Fellow

It has been almost 4 weeks since fellowship officially started. We are really enjoying the Colorado weather and activities. Love meeting so many new people and hearing their stories. Monday we enjoyed Buffalo Pass and Fish Creek Reservoir with the pastor (Jay) and his sweet wife, Joy. Reece and Cale got to enjoy their 8 year old son as well. It is so easy to love it here. Surrounded by God's beauty is almost overwhelming at times. It's also nice to be in cooler weather. Tonight we went to the Routt Co Fair and Rodeo in Hayden. Sitting at a rodeo just made me miss Texas. Maybe it's the county music, boots, horses, and bulls, but it was home to me. It's nice to enjoy some of that here again. That was the hardest part about leaving when I did....I missed the Lovington Rodeo that Justin Sports Medicine taught me to love. Finding rodeo contacts is harder here and I've almost missed the rodeo season. I hope to make some contacts while I'm here and hopefully the Lord will open the door for just that.

Things I've learned to this point:
1. You have to sleep
2. There's always something to do
3. There's always several book and several projects going at once
4. Make time for family and kids. We've had some of the best days together!
5. Make new friends
6. Get out and hike. Enjoy your surroundings.
7. EXERCISE is a must. Sanity at that. I miss my yoga group in Seminole.
8. Eat good food. Drink MORE water. Health is a must. Energy is like gold.
9. Love the Lord. Serve his people.
10. Polish all your techniques and what you know. That's why I'm here.

Focus. Intention. Finding the root of the problem. In your patient. In yourself and improve what you do. Be Intentional in all you do.

Fellowship

So what's this physical therapy fellowship thing all about?! Well here goes!

Fellowship has many meanings. By definition it means:

n. noun

1. The condition of sharing similar interests, ideals, or experiences, as by reason of profession, religion, or nationality.
2. The companionship of individuals in a congenial atmosphere and on equal terms.
3. A close association of friends or equals sharing similar interests
   
   
   
   
   I would agree that my Fellowship is about sharing similar ideals, experiences and interest by reason of profession.  But there's so much more. Fellowship is advanced training to further develop your practice and meant to push you further in your skill set or teaching. I've been asked many times by friends, family, and patients, "What is fellowship? That's cool. But what does that mean." Simply, compare it to the highest level of manual therapy training available in my field as a PT. Jody tells many people that its like getting an offer from Coach K at Duke. You just don't turn that down. 
   
   
   To be the best of the best. But not by any right to claim that. It's not about bragging rights or having letters after your name at this level. It is about being shown EARLY on as a PT student that as IPA reminds me through the brilliant words of Maggie Knott, "Everyone has an untapped existing potential."  (And I want to tap into THAT kind of training! I have great training to this point, but I want to really tap into what I don't know.)  That statement alone should dig deep. It should rattle you. No matter what walk of life your in. EVERYONE has an UNTAPPED, existing POTENTIAL. Holy moly. Can I get an AMEN?! Because that deserves one. Imagine if we not only as therapists, but as people walked that everyday. It would change the life of anyone we treat, meet, develop relationships with, or have "fellowship" with. I'm so blessed by all the patients I've treated to this point in my life. They have taught me that pushing myself is worth it to offer them better care. It is worth it because to this point because medicine does not always have an answer. It is simply the truth of it. I've watched that and lived it. We as therapists (or any professional at that) have to be willing to develop our care to the highest level possible so the person that walks into the clinic and sits in OUR chair can have MORE. More function, more control, more life.  To that point they may have been given medications, pain management, and tried other conservative measures such as acupuncture, massage, hollistics, etc. I say that not flippantly or with an opinion, but simply stated that those are the options until or after surgery. I'll keep it simple in saying that I simply want to know I have done my best for the patient. In school all the cases and scenarios are a theory and an idea. When you start treating even as a student, that disease, surgery, weakness, dysfunction or trauma becomes a NAME and a PERSON. A life affected. It is amazing to have been a part of IPA since I was a PT student.  Even more amazing to be in a group of great teachers. Not just therapist but patient teachers. Therapist who KNOW not just to tell a patient that their posture or movement is wrong, but knows HOW to train them to correct it.  Teaches them how to stabilize that posture and strengthen once it is correct then gets them moving better and AGAIN breaks the cycle of pain. Teaches them HOW TO stop hurting themselves when they didn't even know it was happening or if they did, how to fix it themselves. There's a beautiful ART in that. How to specify treatment and exercises for each person's demands. To see it done so beautifully by a group of mentors who have studied, practiced, done the HARD leg work to offer this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is incredible. To know when I'm done, that I'll be pushed, challenged, pushed some more because they know efficient when they see it is humbling, but amazing and empowering to know how much better I will be for THE PATIENT. Jody tells me all the time when I practice PNF patterns on him, "You know, I hate this. It makes me realize how weak I am.  And how different my body would be if I had had this kind of therapy at the time of my accident, not years later." Coming from him, that means a lot. (The quick recap if you don't know, is that in Jody's freshman year of college he was in a car accident that almost killed him. He had a pelvic fracture surgically repaired that left he extremely weak. No pain, praise the Lord, but weakness all the same.) Maybe that statement, among many others from patients is my driver. The other is simply being shown early on WHAT IS POSSIBLE and knowing that is the path God put me in. 
   
   
   I love it here in Steamboat because it's not just running, but running up a mountain. It's not just road biking, but also mountain biking. Hiking, hot air balloons, kayaking, paddle boarding, tubing, rafting, swimming (in the freezing cold), rock climbing and dance/arts. AND THAT'S just some of their summer season. Oh for the season to change! WOOHOO! Snow shoeing, alpine skiing, nordic skiing, cross-country skiing, etc. I'm so excited to be here with my family. It's a beautiful, family-friendly place that holds many rare opportunities and experiences. The time I (we) spend here will be some of the best and hardest days. It all pays off when your patient walks out different than they walked in!  That's a humbling thing as well, not to have what you do define you, but to offer something that speaks for itself.  As my friends (coworkers) back home know, my response to this is "SEE!! THAT'S why I'm crazy enough to do this! How can you argue with those results! They speak for themselves. Why wouldn't I go further?!" Maybe it's crazy to sell my perfect house, resign from an amazing job and position, and move my entire family to Colorado. Maybe. But what would be crazier would be to turn this down. (If you want further insight into this, read OUTLIERS by Malcom Gladwell.) What would be even crazier after much prayer and hard work, would be to say "I'm too tired. I'm done, I'm happy with where I am."  I'd say to that an unpopular response: How sad. I don't ever want to be done until my life is done. What I have learned is that we are far too material. That is all just stuff. Good stuff. But still stuff. My family is here with me and that is home. Friends are here. The Lord has provided. Fellowship has begun. :)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   As with anything:
             No discipline seems pleasant at the time but rather painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.      Hebrews 12:11
   
   
   Funny how that verse is followed immediately by the verse God gave me when I prayed for my career path in college.  
   
   
   Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.        Hebrews 12:12
   
   
   Inspiration happened years ago and happens everyday. All to HIM. Glory to God alone. 
   
   
   Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE.  The word itself says I'M POSSIBLE.   Audrey Hepburn
   
   
   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.   Phil 2: 3-5
   
   
   And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.    Colossians 3:17
   
   
   But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  Phil 3: 13-14
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Making a House a Home

This is by far the hardest thing I've had to write. This is a sweet morning is our house of 9 years. When you marry a coach you plan on never being in one place very long. At least that's what I thought. Seminole tried to warn me that people come and stay, but I still had my doubts. I can remember the first year in our house I kept saying, well I'll unpack that box if we're here next year. Now this morning the sweet sounds and surroundings that I've grown accommodated to will change tomorrow. As I go out the back door this morning to sit on the porch the security alarm reminds me "kitchen door 2" as I open it. Stepping out the sun peaks over the back fence and cast  shimmers across the blue pool waters. The grass is freshly cut from the day before, prepping for the new owners who move in Friday. I sit in my favorite spot on the glider and soak up the sun. I've spent some sweet time back here. Mornings before my c-sections, studying/reading,  random days when I just want to be outside. The birds are still singing but the dogs aren't pacing in their corner anymore, eagerly waiting for me to come give them scratches and say good morning. Their corner is lonely and empty and I miss them. The yard where kids have crawled and toddled and grown to run, the pool where they took their first dunk to dog paddle, the porch where bikes and wagons and many a chalk drawings have birthed little artists, is quiet this morning. This is the place, the seat where I have pleaded so much with God, had many a talks, many a quite moments, many a battle. This was the place where God grew me. Stretched me. Challenged me. Taught me. How to fight through motherhood, that thyroid cancer is not a finality but a turning it over to him. A trusting him. A faith walk if you will. This is the place where marriage has been real and hard, but sweet and fun. This is the place where God grew the drive and therapist in me. The coach, teacher, and father in Jody. I've been so blessed to study many a late and early hour here. CFMT, OCS, and write a women's health pelvic case study here. What a place, what an experience. The flood of memories rushes back and overwhelm me at HOW MUCH I have asked for in this place that God has allowed me to do, to see, and to SEE FULL-FILLED.

A house is only bricks and mortar. God builds the home and the family in it. Oh what an amazing family he has given me. One to want to love me and walk with me through the next leg of this crazy journey. I have prayed for fellowship in Steamboat for a long time. As a PT student, I got the opportunity to have a rotation there and that was it for me. I knew I was among talent that went beyond the typical. This was truly the next level and thankfully I was being exposed to it in school and shown an advanced approach at the start of my career. Through that rotation, God planted the seed in Steamboat that one day I would go on the become a Certified Functional Manual Therapist. I set my sights on fellowship long ago, committing my plans to God, knowing that if it was not the path He had I would go wherever He had for me. But God does not dangle a carrot and plant a desire that strongly unless He intends to water it and see it through. That's so humbling. I feel so blessed to know that He's just confirmed it every step along the way.

Here's a quick recap. CFMT passed in 2011 after a diagnosis of thyroid cancer and removal 6 weeks before testing. He's just reminding me that He's in control. For those that aren't sure what I do, a VERY simple explanation is a manual therapist uses their hands entirely when working on soft tissues within the body, joints, nerve or resisting to turn on the right muscle or muscle group. (That's very simplified!!)  So for ANY surgery 6 weeks before testing it was scary because prepping for more than a year for a major test process and not being sure if I would even be strong enough to implement the mobilizations was scary. OCS passed (PTL) 2013. Wrote my women's health case and submitted in Feb 2014. What a process it has been. On a blog I wrote over 2 years ago, I refer to the book by Priscilla Shirer One in a Million.  I can now confirm from that post what I eluded to throughout that blog and once again referred to several months ago. I was sitting in the recliner praying over direction and timing. At that time, I was really asking God to reveal whether fellowship would happen, whether it was still His desire for me or something that I latched to and refused to let go of. I had a tremendous opportunity at Hobbs again as rehab supervisor, but my dilemma was signing a 2 year contract and not knowing where fellowship might fall. In that passage that morning, (refer back to blog) it was over "I'm doing something a long way off." In that moment I knew that God was showing me, IT WILL HAPPEN. You are going to go. That was pretty humbling and awesome to hear. It does not matter when, I am responsible for the timing. My timing is PERFECT. Well, as always...it is! I accepted that position 2 years ago this June. This month I have full-filled that contract. Absolutely amazing HE IS!!

So my flood of emotions and memories this morning just simply feels like praise. As my tears fall, as memories rush back and turn these tears to laughter and I am so humbled to simply sit with my Savior this morning, as I have so many times. The blessing is that I know also that week of CFMT testing I sat outside the Christian Hertiage school everyday that testing week and lifted my eyes to the mountain across the street. I prayed so many things that week. Dear Lord.....LET ME PASS. Let this knowledge flood the room, flow through my hands, flow onto the paper. And let me return to this place. To this place as a functional manual therapy (FMT) fellow. God heard me. And He has a wonderful sense of humor. Our rent house is across from the school and I'll get to pray to Him toward that mountain every morning. Isn't He amazing at the details?! I did not ask for that kind of specific, but that's the way He works.

Our house sold in a day. I prayed that it would to be reassured that this was the Lord and nothing else. This journey has been amazing in this house. It has been a HARD task to pack. Hard on a momma, therapist, and working woman. 9 years of memories and 2 kids and more junk than I need. A purging of what is needed and what is just excess. It is almost done. Tomorrow we close and load.  I will walk through an empty house tomorrow and I know that final walk-through will be the same flood it is now. I'm thankful that God builds the people in a home and loves us enough to listen to the prayers and lists we make in them, dreams we build.  One thing I know for sure. This is a house I will miss because through it He has heard me in more ways than one. I brought my babies home here and watched them grow up. That makes it the hardest to leave.  This is not just about me or Jody. This is their PLACE. Their house....the only place thankfully they have known in 6 and 3 years. In typical Reece fashion, she's excited about moving to Steamboat Springs, ColoRADOoo. Let's just say sorry Colorado but you won't have to ask where we are from....just ask Reece. Cale is just excited about building snowmen and learning what this skiing thing is. As long as all the toys get to go, they don't seem to care, but Reece would pack Mrs. Alexander if she could be her teacher next year.  (Thank you for an awesome year!)

Seminole has been a great place. FBC has been the church that has loved us through every phase of our 9 years. The youth we have worked with while we have been here have grown up to be some of our dearest friends. We were so blessed to close our time here last night with a special visit (Hope) from one of our sweet girls. Alex...you have become one of my dearest friends from youth to now. I love each one of you that we have been so blessed to work with here. Our German daughter (Samira) will bless us in Steamboat in September with a visit from her entire family! So in closing.....since this has become a book......I will say Lord thank you for giving  us an amazing first home in a great small Texas town. There's nothing small about the hearts here or the dreams He has given us. To our youth, the Lord has GREAT plans for you, bigger than you would ever set for yourself. DREAM BIG. It is about the Lord alone. Glorify Him, keep yourself and your plans pure and fixed on Him. Submit to Him.

I will take down the final 2 frames from the wall today. They were gifts  given to Jody and I at  wedding showers.  (TEN years in DECEMBER!!!) The framed verses read:
Be still and Know that I am God.   Psalm 46:10
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me...... Psalm 23:6

Easter: Suffocation

What a description tonight at youth that I've heard before but something stood out.  Our fabulous youth director Jase was simply describing the crucifixion. Exactly how that would have taken place. The severity of the wounds, the pain. The hopeless and finality of hanging on a cross. And that's when I heard the word. He suffocated. Every breath was effort and pain and agony to get the next.

Interesting how sometimes in this world it can feel exactly like that. Like we are suffocating. Like it is effort to keep going, to breath. And that is NO laughing matter in this dirt filled air. Whether it is the literal air or the troubles and circumstances we find around ourselves, life can be flat suffocating if we let it become that. Oh how I take too much on at times and let the worry and over analyzation rob me of the peace that the Lord give us. I let the devil just plant the plow of doubt and till up a field I've been working hard to turn over to the Lord. I let the little enemy of "I'm not good enough" or "I didn't think through that hard enough" or SELF creep right in and down right suffocate me with "it is up to me." Oh how THAT goes against my little west Texas self. The little voice I was raised on screams, "you should have tried harder, worked longer, pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, etc...."

So all that was a simple reflection that just hit me square in the face when I heard the word suffocated. Well thank you JESUS that because you took my sin, my shame, I DO NOT HAVE to take it upon myself to be everything and do it all and think through every single situation. I DO NOT have to let this world and its troubles suffocate me of the life YOU have for me IN YOU. There are so many times and so many things that I let rob me, hold me back from the JOY I know is mine to claim. Thank you Jesus that You gave your life, your precious blood for me.

This may seem like a silly and simple example of someone giving something up for me lately but this is a very special example all the same. My husband and I are getting ready for a new adventure! He recently gave up his new truck and piece of Texas to allow us to get an all wheel drive to better serve us through the next adventure. Needless to say, when we left the truck I was crying as he drove off the lot in the new car. He told me, "Be happy. We have a new car!"  Through the tears I sobbed, "I know. It's just hard to watch other people give special things up for me. Thank you."

Jesus gave up His life for me. (Cue the Kleenex!) That is the MOST precious gift. I will never fathom the meaning or the cost. The thought of the magnitude of what He did for me is overwhelming. I can't imagine what it would have been like to watch that day occur. The agony of watching someone die for me.  It's hard enough for me to watch someone I love give something material up, but to watch my SAVIOR give his life. I hate watching anyone give something for me and usually I'm immediately the one who wants to take it upon myself because I don't feel worth the price for someone else to have to suffer or be unhappy.  Christ gave. The thought is unbearable, the lump in my throat makes it hard to complete this sentence. Christ gave and stood in my place so that I didn't have to.  WHAT A GIFT! I will remember that He suffocated and died for me so that I don't have to. He died so we could live and live abundantly! And I plan on living it abundantly for HIM. All the glory goes to HIM. Breathe deep, be thankful for the air that freely fills your lungs. Suffocate no more on the troubles of this life because CHRIST has overcome death. HE IS RISEN! And HE is COMING BACK!!
Happy Easter Ya'll!