This is by far the hardest thing I've had to write. This is a sweet morning is our house of 9 years. When you marry a coach you plan on never being in one place very long. At least that's what I thought. Seminole tried to warn me that people come and stay, but I still had my doubts. I can remember the first year in our house I kept saying, well I'll unpack that box if we're here next year. Now this morning the sweet sounds and surroundings that I've grown accommodated to will change tomorrow. As I go out the back door this morning to sit on the porch the security alarm reminds me "kitchen door 2" as I open it. Stepping out the sun peaks over the back fence and cast shimmers across the blue pool waters. The grass is freshly cut from the day before, prepping for the new owners who move in Friday. I sit in my favorite spot on the glider and soak up the sun. I've spent some sweet time back here. Mornings before my c-sections, studying/reading, random days when I just want to be outside. The birds are still singing but the dogs aren't pacing in their corner anymore, eagerly waiting for me to come give them scratches and say good morning. Their corner is lonely and empty and I miss them. The yard where kids have crawled and toddled and grown to run, the pool where they took their first dunk to dog paddle, the porch where bikes and wagons and many a chalk drawings have birthed little artists, is quiet this morning. This is the place, the seat where I have pleaded so much with God, had many a talks, many a quite moments, many a battle. This was the place where God grew me. Stretched me. Challenged me. Taught me. How to fight through motherhood, that thyroid cancer is not a finality but a turning it over to him. A trusting him. A faith walk if you will. This is the place where marriage has been real and hard, but sweet and fun. This is the place where God grew the drive and therapist in me. The coach, teacher, and father in Jody. I've been so blessed to study many a late and early hour here. CFMT, OCS, and write a women's health pelvic case study here. What a place, what an experience. The flood of memories rushes back and overwhelm me at HOW MUCH I have asked for in this place that God has allowed me to do, to see, and to SEE FULL-FILLED.
A house is only bricks and mortar. God builds the home and the family in it. Oh what an amazing family he has given me. One to want to love me and walk with me through the next leg of this crazy journey. I have prayed for fellowship in Steamboat for a long time. As a PT student, I got the opportunity to have a rotation there and that was it for me. I knew I was among talent that went beyond the typical. This was truly the next level and thankfully I was being exposed to it in school and shown an advanced approach at the start of my career. Through that rotation, God planted the seed in Steamboat that one day I would go on the become a Certified Functional Manual Therapist. I set my sights on fellowship long ago, committing my plans to God, knowing that if it was not the path He had I would go wherever He had for me. But God does not dangle a carrot and plant a desire that strongly unless He intends to water it and see it through. That's so humbling. I feel so blessed to know that He's just confirmed it every step along the way.
Here's a quick recap. CFMT passed in 2011 after a diagnosis of thyroid cancer and removal 6 weeks before testing. He's just reminding me that He's in control. For those that aren't sure what I do, a VERY simple explanation is a manual therapist uses their hands entirely when working on soft tissues within the body, joints, nerve or resisting to turn on the right muscle or muscle group. (That's very simplified!!) So for ANY surgery 6 weeks before testing it was scary because prepping for more than a year for a major test process and not being sure if I would even be strong enough to implement the mobilizations was scary. OCS passed (PTL) 2013. Wrote my women's health case and submitted in Feb 2014. What a process it has been. On a blog I wrote over 2 years ago, I refer to the book by Priscilla Shirer One in a Million. I can now confirm from that post what I eluded to throughout that blog and once again referred to several months ago. I was sitting in the recliner praying over direction and timing. At that time, I was really asking God to reveal whether fellowship would happen, whether it was still His desire for me or something that I latched to and refused to let go of. I had a tremendous opportunity at Hobbs again as rehab supervisor, but my dilemma was signing a 2 year contract and not knowing where fellowship might fall. In that passage that morning, (refer back to blog) it was over "I'm doing something a long way off." In that moment I knew that God was showing me, IT WILL HAPPEN. You are going to go. That was pretty humbling and awesome to hear. It does not matter when, I am responsible for the timing. My timing is PERFECT. Well, as always...it is! I accepted that position 2 years ago this June. This month I have full-filled that contract. Absolutely amazing HE IS!!
So my flood of emotions and memories this morning just simply feels like praise. As my tears fall, as memories rush back and turn these tears to laughter and I am so humbled to simply sit with my Savior this morning, as I have so many times. The blessing is that I know also that week of CFMT testing I sat outside the Christian Hertiage school everyday that testing week and lifted my eyes to the mountain across the street. I prayed so many things that week. Dear Lord.....LET ME PASS. Let this knowledge flood the room, flow through my hands, flow onto the paper. And let me return to this place. To this place as a functional manual therapy (FMT) fellow. God heard me. And He has a wonderful sense of humor. Our rent house is across from the school and I'll get to pray to Him toward that mountain every morning. Isn't He amazing at the details?! I did not ask for that kind of specific, but that's the way He works.
Our house sold in a day. I prayed that it would to be reassured that this was the Lord and nothing else. This journey has been amazing in this house. It has been a HARD task to pack. Hard on a momma, therapist, and working woman. 9 years of memories and 2 kids and more junk than I need. A purging of what is needed and what is just excess. It is almost done. Tomorrow we close and load. I will walk through an empty house tomorrow and I know that final walk-through will be the same flood it is now. I'm thankful that God builds the people in a home and loves us enough to listen to the prayers and lists we make in them, dreams we build. One thing I know for sure. This is a house I will miss because through it He has heard me in more ways than one. I brought my babies home here and watched them grow up. That makes it the hardest to leave. This is not just about me or Jody. This is their PLACE. Their house....the only place thankfully they have known in 6 and 3 years. In typical Reece fashion, she's excited about moving to Steamboat Springs, ColoRADOoo. Let's just say sorry Colorado but you won't have to ask where we are from....just ask Reece. Cale is just excited about building snowmen and learning what this skiing thing is. As long as all the toys get to go, they don't seem to care, but Reece would pack Mrs. Alexander if she could be her teacher next year. (Thank you for an awesome year!)
Seminole has been a great place. FBC has been the church that has loved us through every phase of our 9 years. The youth we have worked with while we have been here have grown up to be some of our dearest friends. We were so blessed to close our time here last night with a special visit (Hope) from one of our sweet girls. Alex...you have become one of my dearest friends from youth to now. I love each one of you that we have been so blessed to work with here. Our German daughter (Samira) will bless us in Steamboat in September with a visit from her entire family! So in closing.....since this has become a book......I will say Lord thank you for giving us an amazing first home in a great small Texas town. There's nothing small about the hearts here or the dreams He has given us. To our youth, the Lord has GREAT plans for you, bigger than you would ever set for yourself. DREAM BIG. It is about the Lord alone. Glorify Him, keep yourself and your plans pure and fixed on Him. Submit to Him.
I will take down the final 2 frames from the wall today. They were gifts given to Jody and I at wedding showers. (TEN years in DECEMBER!!!) The framed verses read:
Be still and Know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me...... Psalm 23:6
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Easter: Suffocation
What a description tonight at youth that I've heard before but something stood out. Our fabulous youth director Jase was simply describing the crucifixion. Exactly how that would have taken place. The severity of the wounds, the pain. The hopeless and finality of hanging on a cross. And that's when I heard the word. He suffocated. Every breath was effort and pain and agony to get the next.
Interesting how sometimes in this world it can feel exactly like that. Like we are suffocating. Like it is effort to keep going, to breath. And that is NO laughing matter in this dirt filled air. Whether it is the literal air or the troubles and circumstances we find around ourselves, life can be flat suffocating if we let it become that. Oh how I take too much on at times and let the worry and over analyzation rob me of the peace that the Lord give us. I let the devil just plant the plow of doubt and till up a field I've been working hard to turn over to the Lord. I let the little enemy of "I'm not good enough" or "I didn't think through that hard enough" or SELF creep right in and down right suffocate me with "it is up to me." Oh how THAT goes against my little west Texas self. The little voice I was raised on screams, "you should have tried harder, worked longer, pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, etc...."
So all that was a simple reflection that just hit me square in the face when I heard the word suffocated. Well thank you JESUS that because you took my sin, my shame, I DO NOT HAVE to take it upon myself to be everything and do it all and think through every single situation. I DO NOT have to let this world and its troubles suffocate me of the life YOU have for me IN YOU. There are so many times and so many things that I let rob me, hold me back from the JOY I know is mine to claim. Thank you Jesus that You gave your life, your precious blood for me.
This may seem like a silly and simple example of someone giving something up for me lately but this is a very special example all the same. My husband and I are getting ready for a new adventure! He recently gave up his new truck and piece of Texas to allow us to get an all wheel drive to better serve us through the next adventure. Needless to say, when we left the truck I was crying as he drove off the lot in the new car. He told me, "Be happy. We have a new car!" Through the tears I sobbed, "I know. It's just hard to watch other people give special things up for me. Thank you."
Jesus gave up His life for me. (Cue the Kleenex!) That is the MOST precious gift. I will never fathom the meaning or the cost. The thought of the magnitude of what He did for me is overwhelming. I can't imagine what it would have been like to watch that day occur. The agony of watching someone die for me. It's hard enough for me to watch someone I love give something material up, but to watch my SAVIOR give his life. I hate watching anyone give something for me and usually I'm immediately the one who wants to take it upon myself because I don't feel worth the price for someone else to have to suffer or be unhappy. Christ gave. The thought is unbearable, the lump in my throat makes it hard to complete this sentence. Christ gave and stood in my place so that I didn't have to. WHAT A GIFT! I will remember that He suffocated and died for me so that I don't have to. He died so we could live and live abundantly! And I plan on living it abundantly for HIM. All the glory goes to HIM. Breathe deep, be thankful for the air that freely fills your lungs. Suffocate no more on the troubles of this life because CHRIST has overcome death. HE IS RISEN! And HE is COMING BACK!!
Happy Easter Ya'll!
Interesting how sometimes in this world it can feel exactly like that. Like we are suffocating. Like it is effort to keep going, to breath. And that is NO laughing matter in this dirt filled air. Whether it is the literal air or the troubles and circumstances we find around ourselves, life can be flat suffocating if we let it become that. Oh how I take too much on at times and let the worry and over analyzation rob me of the peace that the Lord give us. I let the devil just plant the plow of doubt and till up a field I've been working hard to turn over to the Lord. I let the little enemy of "I'm not good enough" or "I didn't think through that hard enough" or SELF creep right in and down right suffocate me with "it is up to me." Oh how THAT goes against my little west Texas self. The little voice I was raised on screams, "you should have tried harder, worked longer, pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, etc...."
So all that was a simple reflection that just hit me square in the face when I heard the word suffocated. Well thank you JESUS that because you took my sin, my shame, I DO NOT HAVE to take it upon myself to be everything and do it all and think through every single situation. I DO NOT have to let this world and its troubles suffocate me of the life YOU have for me IN YOU. There are so many times and so many things that I let rob me, hold me back from the JOY I know is mine to claim. Thank you Jesus that You gave your life, your precious blood for me.
This may seem like a silly and simple example of someone giving something up for me lately but this is a very special example all the same. My husband and I are getting ready for a new adventure! He recently gave up his new truck and piece of Texas to allow us to get an all wheel drive to better serve us through the next adventure. Needless to say, when we left the truck I was crying as he drove off the lot in the new car. He told me, "Be happy. We have a new car!" Through the tears I sobbed, "I know. It's just hard to watch other people give special things up for me. Thank you."
Jesus gave up His life for me. (Cue the Kleenex!) That is the MOST precious gift. I will never fathom the meaning or the cost. The thought of the magnitude of what He did for me is overwhelming. I can't imagine what it would have been like to watch that day occur. The agony of watching someone die for me. It's hard enough for me to watch someone I love give something material up, but to watch my SAVIOR give his life. I hate watching anyone give something for me and usually I'm immediately the one who wants to take it upon myself because I don't feel worth the price for someone else to have to suffer or be unhappy. Christ gave. The thought is unbearable, the lump in my throat makes it hard to complete this sentence. Christ gave and stood in my place so that I didn't have to. WHAT A GIFT! I will remember that He suffocated and died for me so that I don't have to. He died so we could live and live abundantly! And I plan on living it abundantly for HIM. All the glory goes to HIM. Breathe deep, be thankful for the air that freely fills your lungs. Suffocate no more on the troubles of this life because CHRIST has overcome death. HE IS RISEN! And HE is COMING BACK!!
Happy Easter Ya'll!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Markers and Memorials
In Joshua 4:2-9 when the Israelites cross the Jordan, they take stones to lay as memorials. They were told to tell their children about them later when they asked, "What do these stones mean?" The response was in verse 7: "tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."
I've often picked up this practice ever since my days of Wayland Rec and Rejoice Teams. Those summers were 10+ weeks of amazing church camps, where day after day I could see God working in my life and the lives around me. They were days that I knew I would want to remember. And so I started collecting my markers/memorials, usually a rock, from where ever we were traveling whenever God moved. They were small and pocket sized, not usually the boulder that required me to mount them on my shoulder, like the passage says. :) Sometimes, I've purchased something in the area instead to serve as a reminder as well. Usually I put the date on it and a single word reminding me where I was when God moved. My children also serve as markers for God moving in our lives. Previously, I told you that Jody was never supposed to have children after his accident. Their birthdays serve as the Lord's memorial that He can do great things and every year our family remembers that. Beth Moore also suggest making a spiritual time line to track his movements. I journal and usually have the dates where God moved, but now looking back through this blog I actually think that this is my marker, my memorial. (memorial: something, esp. a structure, established to remind people of a person or event. "monument built as a memorial to remember past historical events; civil war, 9/11, etc.) Often I have huge breaks from my last entries and rarely do I write unless I feel lead to. God fully impresses upon me what I'm compelled to write. It moves me to write it and now I'm especially thankful that I have this to track such events. It's quite humbling to look back through these blog posts.
I've often picked up this practice ever since my days of Wayland Rec and Rejoice Teams. Those summers were 10+ weeks of amazing church camps, where day after day I could see God working in my life and the lives around me. They were days that I knew I would want to remember. And so I started collecting my markers/memorials, usually a rock, from where ever we were traveling whenever God moved. They were small and pocket sized, not usually the boulder that required me to mount them on my shoulder, like the passage says. :) Sometimes, I've purchased something in the area instead to serve as a reminder as well. Usually I put the date on it and a single word reminding me where I was when God moved. My children also serve as markers for God moving in our lives. Previously, I told you that Jody was never supposed to have children after his accident. Their birthdays serve as the Lord's memorial that He can do great things and every year our family remembers that. Beth Moore also suggest making a spiritual time line to track his movements. I journal and usually have the dates where God moved, but now looking back through this blog I actually think that this is my marker, my memorial. (memorial: something, esp. a structure, established to remind people of a person or event. "monument built as a memorial to remember past historical events; civil war, 9/11, etc.) Often I have huge breaks from my last entries and rarely do I write unless I feel lead to. God fully impresses upon me what I'm compelled to write. It moves me to write it and now I'm especially thankful that I have this to track such events. It's quite humbling to look back through these blog posts.
One of the greatest post to read over recently was September 25, 2012: A Great Distance Away. WOW! I remember that book, that chapter, page still dog-earred and where I was sitting. I can still remember the power of God's spirit as I read that chapter I referred to in the earlier post. I remember the whisper..."You're going to want to remember this. I'm doing something a long way off. It is going to happen. Today I'm simply showing you. Read what you read again. Remember it. Be patient and wait." Choke. Back. The. Tears.
Goodness. You're probably thinking all this chick does is cry. Well, when it comes to the Lord moving and actually doing something in my life visible and clear, you would be right. I'd even venture to say that if it doesn't move you in some way when God acts on YOUR behalf.....are you alive and tuned in to know that IT IS HIM!! Even when it's not clear, He still amazes me. Even when I'm told to wait. Ok.....I know you're timing is PERFECT. There's not a thing I can do for myself now that He can't do better and simplified. Because He's God. And He can do anything.
He parted the red sea. He made a donkey talk. He stopped the Jordan. He calmed the storm. He died for me. AND ROSE AGAIN. He defeated death. Satan does not win. It is clear to me that my trust is firmly in the One & Only Savior. Who calms the storm in me. Raises me to life and has many plans for me and through me. To be much more than I could have ever planned for myself. Oh Jesus, move and use me. Spirit take the lead and calm my spirit to hear and be reminded that you alone already know all the markers and events that I will ever write, journal, or pick up another rock over. Jesus, you already know them. Quite my spirit, my racing mind so I can hear you, who whispers your plans to us. To me.
I think next time I pick up my memorial, I'll say: "Thank you for this marker. This memorial. Thank you for acting before in Joshua and thank you for acting now in my life. Thank you for already knowing I would have this marker. Thank you for living in me and using me. Use this memorial to bring yourself glory when others ask! I keep this memorial, this marker to remember that you move not only throughout the bible but VISIBLY throughout MY life. These serve as my account that the Lord ALWAYS showed me the next step, the way to go and it required FAITH. Help me step out again and always trust you."
Revelation 3:7
1 Thess. 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
1 Thess. 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Friend of Sinners
About a week ago I got stuck in Dallas after a CE course. The sleet, snow, and ice kept my mom, kids and I from leaving and we got to enjoy another night at my aunt and uncle's. The next day instead of getting to break up the drive for us, I drove the 6+ hours straight. Wasn't bad but definitely not by choice for the kiddos. It was actually a great drive. Some definite snow and ice, but mostly worn down to slush by the time I left. As usual, I found that music makes ANY drive better and transforms my mind. I do some of my best thinking, praying, and planning in my car. I love the road, the possibilities, and I'm humbled by the fact that the Lord plans for us and will reveal it if we only ask. The song below once again brought me to tears. Unbelievable the power of these words. I was reminded that each of us has incredible mercy and grace spilled over us in order to stand and wake every day. I'm so humbled that the Lord gives me that every day.
"You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet."
"You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet."
Read the words for yourself. I'm unable to stand listening to this. I'm brought to my knees. Reminded of the beautiful sacrifice Jesus gave. Not for me to act how I want. Pass judgement, speak without thinking, careless with words, all for what. Because of stress and exhaustion and selfishness. My reasons cannot stand in the presence of His grace. His beautiful mercy. My heart humbly bows before Him.
"Jesus, Friend Of Sinners"
"Jesus, Friend Of Sinners"
Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
Yeah...
Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours
And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
Yeah...
Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours
And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
Sunday, February 16, 2014
A Changed Course, A Humbled Heart
I had a drive home several weeks ago that left me amazed. A simple trip by myself does not happen very often anymore, except of course the daily drive to work. Well, this was not one of those trips. It was a simple trip home from Lubbock that was suddenly transformed. A few thoughts and memories replayed in my head and before I knew it I was wiping the water in buckets from my eyes. There's no way to describe when the Lord gives you a glimpse of your life and shows you when He changed your course. Oh, but how He did that day. What a sweet sweet glimpse!
Rewinding back to Wayland freshman year, I chose business as my major. Likely a safe choice in my father's eyes. A choice to please him. A choice to play it safe. Call it what you want, but business all the same. Through that major, I took several classes and met some amazing people. Made some lifelong friends and put in some late nights. Later than I should've had to. There came a time when helping a friend study at the Kettle for anatomy that it became obvious that I was in the wrong department and needed to switch. No how could I do that. Half a year invested. Can't do that. I remember walking across concrete prairie the next semester thinking....yep I'd love to do physical therapy, but man that pre-req list.....will kill me. God was planting the seed. But I kept tilling it up. Destroying and refusing to listen. Or was I?
I remember crystal clear a chapel sermon where a man came and said that every calling is biblical. It's a matter of you asking and praying and waiting for God to reveal it. Wow, I thought. Really? Well, I tried it and He gave me Hebrews 12:12-13.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet", so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
That's a high calling I thought. But I'm not smart enough. I'm not brave enough. I can't do that.
Well, I'm thankful that He gave me NO choice but to change my course. I'm so humbled. Fall of 2000 was one that will always remain the most humbling experience of my life. He changed my course. My husband Jody and I had just met and had been dating 1 month. He was in a horrific car accident and left with multiple internal injuries and a broken pelvis. He was told that he would never have children. That he may never run again. Track and hurdles were over like that. Basketball was in question. More importantly, his life. Those months were sort of a blur. My best friend Will and many others drove me back and forth to the hospital countless times to sit outside an ICU window and just pray. Lubbock Paradigm was a place of peace when my world was turbulent around me. I don't know how many times I took that elevator to the prayer room at Wayland only to crumple in the floor and beg God to work. To show even the doctors that God alone was in control.
Careful praying that. He showed us all exactly that. Half-way through Jody's pelvic repair, they flipped him over after securing the posterior SI screws. Bone-chip, PE, flatline. Shocked, shocked again. Stop. PRAY. The rest is history. The lead surgeon told Jody's mother that team had never worked together before on a trauma. By God's design he put that team together to meet in that OR.
So, without a doubt. I changed directions at the end of my sophomore year. 2 years done. Business minor complete. My new advisor told me that I was crazy to take that many sciences together. Too bad I told him. I don't have a choice. Daddy wants me done in 4 years. I'll finish the sciences in 2. My senior year I looked for PT schools and found that Hardin-Simmons that year was the only school in TX offering the doctorate. Well that was an easy choice and thankfully I got in. The rest that transpired there has truly transformed my career. It has put me on a course that has given me more opportunity and skill. It gave me mentors and a network far beyond what I deserve but I'm truly thankful to be a part of. (Yes, IPA its you!)
I'm so glad that God changed my course. I truly believe that looking back it was set. I simply had to take my eyes off myself and my abilities and shortcomings and walk in the path that He had for me. Because what I would have chosen would have made ME miserable. I highly respect the fact that there are people who love to crunch numbers and develop marketing schemes. I just get to do that now in my field. Nothing ever made me eyes light up the way anatomy does or seeing someone regain function and life. I'm so glad that God gave me no choice but to walk in what He had for me. He changed my course.
I'd love to hear how He changed yours!
Rewinding back to Wayland freshman year, I chose business as my major. Likely a safe choice in my father's eyes. A choice to please him. A choice to play it safe. Call it what you want, but business all the same. Through that major, I took several classes and met some amazing people. Made some lifelong friends and put in some late nights. Later than I should've had to. There came a time when helping a friend study at the Kettle for anatomy that it became obvious that I was in the wrong department and needed to switch. No how could I do that. Half a year invested. Can't do that. I remember walking across concrete prairie the next semester thinking....yep I'd love to do physical therapy, but man that pre-req list.....will kill me. God was planting the seed. But I kept tilling it up. Destroying and refusing to listen. Or was I?
I remember crystal clear a chapel sermon where a man came and said that every calling is biblical. It's a matter of you asking and praying and waiting for God to reveal it. Wow, I thought. Really? Well, I tried it and He gave me Hebrews 12:12-13.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet", so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
That's a high calling I thought. But I'm not smart enough. I'm not brave enough. I can't do that.
Well, I'm thankful that He gave me NO choice but to change my course. I'm so humbled. Fall of 2000 was one that will always remain the most humbling experience of my life. He changed my course. My husband Jody and I had just met and had been dating 1 month. He was in a horrific car accident and left with multiple internal injuries and a broken pelvis. He was told that he would never have children. That he may never run again. Track and hurdles were over like that. Basketball was in question. More importantly, his life. Those months were sort of a blur. My best friend Will and many others drove me back and forth to the hospital countless times to sit outside an ICU window and just pray. Lubbock Paradigm was a place of peace when my world was turbulent around me. I don't know how many times I took that elevator to the prayer room at Wayland only to crumple in the floor and beg God to work. To show even the doctors that God alone was in control.
Careful praying that. He showed us all exactly that. Half-way through Jody's pelvic repair, they flipped him over after securing the posterior SI screws. Bone-chip, PE, flatline. Shocked, shocked again. Stop. PRAY. The rest is history. The lead surgeon told Jody's mother that team had never worked together before on a trauma. By God's design he put that team together to meet in that OR.
So, without a doubt. I changed directions at the end of my sophomore year. 2 years done. Business minor complete. My new advisor told me that I was crazy to take that many sciences together. Too bad I told him. I don't have a choice. Daddy wants me done in 4 years. I'll finish the sciences in 2. My senior year I looked for PT schools and found that Hardin-Simmons that year was the only school in TX offering the doctorate. Well that was an easy choice and thankfully I got in. The rest that transpired there has truly transformed my career. It has put me on a course that has given me more opportunity and skill. It gave me mentors and a network far beyond what I deserve but I'm truly thankful to be a part of. (Yes, IPA its you!)
I'm so glad that God changed my course. I truly believe that looking back it was set. I simply had to take my eyes off myself and my abilities and shortcomings and walk in the path that He had for me. Because what I would have chosen would have made ME miserable. I highly respect the fact that there are people who love to crunch numbers and develop marketing schemes. I just get to do that now in my field. Nothing ever made me eyes light up the way anatomy does or seeing someone regain function and life. I'm so glad that God gave me no choice but to walk in what He had for me. He changed my course.
I'd love to hear how He changed yours!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Runaway Christmas
So many holiday seasons have passed to quickly. This year was definitely another one. Saturday morning we drove the 3 hours to the in-laws house, played with cousins and had the family Christmas early afternoon. By late afternoon, I crashed on the couch along with a few others. I kept tossing, noting HOW achy I felt and just kept sleeping. From 4 to 9 exactly. I finally got up and wandered into the kitchen and fixed some leftovers. Yummy fried steak and potatoes. I watched another hour of Christmas movies and then crashed again. I woke up almost every hour, aching worse and had a bad headache. And by 6 the next morning I finally stopped tossing and got up to the bathroom. The next thing I knew I was laying in the floor. I knew when I stood up I was lightheaded, but when I finally came around I was more thankful that I had not hit my head. (The is NOT to be taken lightly anymore because another Rule-ian, Coach Brilles brother Eddie passed away several weeks ago from a nasty fall, resulting in head trauma.) So clearly my little passing out spell was scary even though I was fine. I guess I managed to moan and groan enough that my sweet mother-in-law heard me and helped me get up and cool off. Unbelievable how quickly a sickness can come over you. I was floored because literally 3 days later I still wasn't myself and still the 4th day had some of the symptoms lingering. I just hadn't been hit that hard for so many days in a row since college when I had strep for 4 days with high fever.
So all that to say, I was sad when I came around 3-4 days later to realize that Christmas was here and I had missed my break entirely. I rolled over at 3:30 this morning in horror to realize "the gifts" had not been left under the tree and the 3 year old had somehow managed to sneak in bed between us. UGH! I shook Jody several times to a reluctant elf and asked him to get up while I watched Cale sleep. He got up and was the LOUDEST helper EVER!! Ripping boxes open and setting up. I just knew he would either wake Cale or Reece, but thankfully we were fine. I rolled out of bed this morning to Reece's screams "HE CAME"......her pluto and flutter fairy were waiting and "MOM, DAD! He brought Cale's ninja turtles!" So 5:30 came very early at our house to groggy headed parents, but the little fellow held onto sweet dreams until 8:00. So a quick "hooray" and more pics with him, then I threw myself in the shower, wrestled the tangles out of this mane, and threw some scrubs on to go in to work. Yes, it is true. I prayed extra, that after the way I felt, that the load today would be super light. And thankfully it was.
Other than fighting another headache, I feel better but it still saddens me that I missed so much fun with family and the kids. Christmas comes but once a year.......
So in my obvious sulking today, Jesus birth overcame me yet again. Christmas comes but once a year. Really? His birthday does, but OUR Christmas is every day. For every day we have a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Unlike our new presents we unwrapped today, He is new and renews us every day. He heals, protects, gives, provides, lifts, and takes care of us. DAILY. That tiny little baby. So many of our friends have posted sweet facebook pics of their newborns and in scrolling through the pictures, one thing is sure. A baby is tiny, delicate, but somehow durable. A tiny strength. A completeness. But still so tiny. So our Savior came in the form of a tiny baby to grow and walk among us. What a sweet entry into the world. What a quite, unannounced way to enter the world as a KING. Funny how we want fanfare for us coming into work/school/church, or like our kids showing up for school and wanting everyone to know it. What a Savior!!
This Christmas was just another humble reminder for me that I am truly unimportant. That even as a mom, wife, aunt, homemaker, supervisor, therapist, teacher, friend, and daughter, the reason for this season will still come and go whether we are ready for it to or not. It will still pass. That occurred to me through all the rest I got while I was down. That it is not up to me. The importance of today was set. It happened long ago. There was a birth, a death, a resurrection. It is finished. We celebrate today knowing that. The most important thing to me this Christmas is that HE CAME and in our hearts we celebrate!
Blessings to you and your family!! Merry Christmas!!
So all that to say, I was sad when I came around 3-4 days later to realize that Christmas was here and I had missed my break entirely. I rolled over at 3:30 this morning in horror to realize "the gifts" had not been left under the tree and the 3 year old had somehow managed to sneak in bed between us. UGH! I shook Jody several times to a reluctant elf and asked him to get up while I watched Cale sleep. He got up and was the LOUDEST helper EVER!! Ripping boxes open and setting up. I just knew he would either wake Cale or Reece, but thankfully we were fine. I rolled out of bed this morning to Reece's screams "HE CAME"......her pluto and flutter fairy were waiting and "MOM, DAD! He brought Cale's ninja turtles!" So 5:30 came very early at our house to groggy headed parents, but the little fellow held onto sweet dreams until 8:00. So a quick "hooray" and more pics with him, then I threw myself in the shower, wrestled the tangles out of this mane, and threw some scrubs on to go in to work. Yes, it is true. I prayed extra, that after the way I felt, that the load today would be super light. And thankfully it was.
Other than fighting another headache, I feel better but it still saddens me that I missed so much fun with family and the kids. Christmas comes but once a year.......
So in my obvious sulking today, Jesus birth overcame me yet again. Christmas comes but once a year. Really? His birthday does, but OUR Christmas is every day. For every day we have a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Unlike our new presents we unwrapped today, He is new and renews us every day. He heals, protects, gives, provides, lifts, and takes care of us. DAILY. That tiny little baby. So many of our friends have posted sweet facebook pics of their newborns and in scrolling through the pictures, one thing is sure. A baby is tiny, delicate, but somehow durable. A tiny strength. A completeness. But still so tiny. So our Savior came in the form of a tiny baby to grow and walk among us. What a sweet entry into the world. What a quite, unannounced way to enter the world as a KING. Funny how we want fanfare for us coming into work/school/church, or like our kids showing up for school and wanting everyone to know it. What a Savior!!
This Christmas was just another humble reminder for me that I am truly unimportant. That even as a mom, wife, aunt, homemaker, supervisor, therapist, teacher, friend, and daughter, the reason for this season will still come and go whether we are ready for it to or not. It will still pass. That occurred to me through all the rest I got while I was down. That it is not up to me. The importance of today was set. It happened long ago. There was a birth, a death, a resurrection. It is finished. We celebrate today knowing that. The most important thing to me this Christmas is that HE CAME and in our hearts we celebrate!
Blessings to you and your family!! Merry Christmas!!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Biopsy Results
So first of all, I have to say an overwhelming thank you to all of you who posted and prayed for me. Everyone is so gracious and I'm truly humbled by the kindness and support you all showered me with. For those that don't know, in 2011, 6 weeks before a monster certification exam I had my thyroid removed due to suspicious results. It was cancer and I followed that with the normal radioactive iodine treatment that fall. Basically to summarize, the next few months after that were rough due to medication reactions and my system just being overloaded from the quick changes that had happened. My body was just overwhelmed. Not really a big deal now other than following up with my doctor until a 5 year mark. This July I had a standard ultrasound of the neck that showed enlarged lymph nodes and recommended follow-up with a biopsy. So that was what today was about. Last week I saw my ENT, who also felt the nodes and confirmed that they were swollen and thought the biopsy was a good ideal as well as my endocrinologist. On Friday, I had a co-worker/friend feel the area that would be biopsied today and again, she raised her eyebrows and felt the area.
Last night was a blur. I was nervous and scared because not the procedure so much but what it could mean. I knew any lymph wasn't good if they found something and the next steps would be very unpleasant. I prayed and then posted and that was it.
So this morning when I went in I will admit I was having trouble feeling the spots that they would biopsy. My mother-in-law prayed over me and read healing scriptures over me as I drove to work and told me that she had prayed all week that any bad cells would be replaced with good.
Well, I'm happy to say I didn't even have to wait for results. There was nothing there to biopsy. You can turn that into whatever you want. I came home and read the old results from July again. Yep they were there. But not today. You can say what you want. You were sick in July and they were just big---no I wasn't sick in July. Summer is my best time when allergies are calm and upper respiratory doesn't flare. They were there 3 weeks ago for the endocrinologist and last week for the ENT. But today, I know why they weren't. Thank you for your prayers. I praise God for Jeremiah 30:17. As the Gideon study taught me.....I won't dare put the praise in another place, or write it off, or take the credit for myself. There is a great God and He did a mighty work for me today and I KNOW IT. It may seem small to some, but not when its your body and your going through it. The mental prep alone is exhausting. Praise the Lord that when I thought I would have to do something, He removed it completely. Funny how I read over Ephesians 3:20 this morning before going in. Immeasurably MORE. Well, yes HE DID!
Last night was a blur. I was nervous and scared because not the procedure so much but what it could mean. I knew any lymph wasn't good if they found something and the next steps would be very unpleasant. I prayed and then posted and that was it.
So this morning when I went in I will admit I was having trouble feeling the spots that they would biopsy. My mother-in-law prayed over me and read healing scriptures over me as I drove to work and told me that she had prayed all week that any bad cells would be replaced with good.
Well, I'm happy to say I didn't even have to wait for results. There was nothing there to biopsy. You can turn that into whatever you want. I came home and read the old results from July again. Yep they were there. But not today. You can say what you want. You were sick in July and they were just big---no I wasn't sick in July. Summer is my best time when allergies are calm and upper respiratory doesn't flare. They were there 3 weeks ago for the endocrinologist and last week for the ENT. But today, I know why they weren't. Thank you for your prayers. I praise God for Jeremiah 30:17. As the Gideon study taught me.....I won't dare put the praise in another place, or write it off, or take the credit for myself. There is a great God and He did a mighty work for me today and I KNOW IT. It may seem small to some, but not when its your body and your going through it. The mental prep alone is exhausting. Praise the Lord that when I thought I would have to do something, He removed it completely. Funny how I read over Ephesians 3:20 this morning before going in. Immeasurably MORE. Well, yes HE DID!
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